It's nice to see that Andrea the Giant has found love...or a new publicist, take your pick. Kidding. Their song is cute, Bow Wow standing on us tippy-toes to get in a shot w/ Sasquasha is sweet in a TGIF in its prime sort of way, and it's hilarious as all hell to see the mini-me version of Beyonce and Jay Z. But (of course one was coming), why are they on the cover of Vibe? Is news this year that slow? Teenybopper love belongs on J-14, not Vibe. Ciara probably earned her cover story with the success of her album, Goodies, but the feature seems to be more about them becoming the 05 version of Bonnie & Clyde (Scooby and Shaggy) than how Ciara p-popped her way through a video for a song about abstinence and go on to rack up platinum plaques. Tsk, tsk.

The fam is alright. I do have relatives that live in Port Author, so I'll have to check on them later in the week. My head is definitely still spinning. I am wondering if I said too much in the last entry, but it's out there, whatever.

This week will be better. Not sure how, but it has to be.

“Say what’s on your mind
And you’ll find in time
That all the negative energy
It would all cease”

Do you promise?

Thanks to all who asked about my family. They are still in Houston. My mother is a nurse so she couldn't leave. My family didn't want to leave her, so the house is full. My relatives that live near the Ship Channel were evacuated days earlier. They're fine...I believe. I say believe because with my cell phone network strained, I can barely contact my immediate relatives, much less the extended ones.

For the last three days I've been glued to CNN, which I don't think is particularly healthy. Their coverage has definitely contributed to my lack of sleep...and studying. For about a day I didn't hear from anyone. At one point my sister was fleeing to Austin, but then changed plans once word came that the storm could possibly rear its ugly head there, too.

I talked to her yesterday briefly and she said everyone was afraid. Typical. I'm scared for them.

The storm has shifted east somewhat, though with a storm that huge, it will still affect my city. I feel awful for the people of Louisiana, especially New Orleans. Another option besides Austin was going to find those Narcisse's (mom's side) and seek shelter with them. So much for that.

Before there was even talk of Rita, my head had already been spinning. The last two weeks have been bad. Really bad.

Today, like a week before, I was listening to "Stressed Out" by A Tribe Called Quest featuring Faith Evans and got teary eyed. I don't like to cry, because I don't care to show weakness. Typical male response, right?

Despite it being convocation, I had an exam and a quiz today. I failed both miserably. I didn't even bother to show up for the first class. I had to send the professor an email explaining that my head just isn't in it and that I've been worried about my family more than anything else. I did show up to the class giving an exam. Late of course. Typical.

I literally blanked out. All I could do was write about what I've been feeling: Fear, confusion, more fear, more confusion. I'm sure the professor thinks I'm psychotic.

For some reason on Wednesday, I thought about my mother dying. We've never been close, but distance can bring two people together. For so long I blamed her for keeping me around my father, which has pretty much fucked my head up forever. For the longest I've pushed people away. I would never allow them to get close. Never give them the opportunity to hurt me because I've been hurt enough. Being told by your father that he will kill you if you dial 9-1-1 will do that to you.

I know it was wrong to blame her for that, but at the time I had to vent my frustration somewhere. Same for pushing folks away. I may have made lots of friends, but that doesn’t mean any of them really knew me. Now that I’m opening up to people about my experiences, I wonder how many of them will stay.

My mother worries about me. Worries that I've fallen out of God's good graces because I finally told her that organized religion just isn't my thing. Wonders why I'm the complete opposite of everything she's use to. Concerns herself over my health, because as she puts it, "You don't eat enough anymore."

She may be on to something there...at least lately anyway. I haven’t eaten anything all day. Just haven’t been thinking about food.

Last year there was a breast cancer scare with her, and I teared up then. Hated tearing up, but hated the idea of my mother dying of cancer more.

She's become one of my biggest supporters, though she still doesn't understand my way of thinking. She doesn’t have to understand, she’s just supportive. That’s all I need.

She wants to see my walk across that stage in May, which is why I'm currently taking 8 classes to do just that. But, I also write for the paper and serve as the President of the student chapter of NABJ. What was I thinking?

I hate school. More and more each day. Regurgitating material you read in a textbook in class isn't an indicator of intelligence to me. I think it's my major, though. Broadcast journalism for a person who really wants to just write about what exactly he's feeling: Sounds like a recipe for misery.

I want out of college just as much as my mom wants to see me walk across the stage. I thought maybe I could finish in the summer, but mom would have to wait a year to see me walk. By then I wouldn't bother to go back.

In all honesty, I'm just now getting over the shit I had to deal with growing up as a child. This summer I was finally happy. Now I'm already [this] close to going back to sophomore year --- where getting out of bed was a struggle.

I'm frustrated. I'm sad. I'm miserable. I'm worried. I'm losing what little bit of sanity I have left. It shouldn't be this way.

C’mon baby we gon make it (yeahhhh)
We gon make it (yeahhahhahhhh)
Don’t worry we gon make it (we’re gonna make it)
We’ve gotta make it (we’ve gotta make it)

I’d like to believe so.

For those of you that don't know, I'm a Houston native. One guess on how I'm feeling right now. I feel even worse for the people of New Orleans, who flocked to Houston to get away from hurricanes. They're planning to move Katrina victims to shelters in Arkansas. In less than an hour, volunteer evacuations out of Galveston will begin.

November can't come soon enough.

There's a lot you can say about Pat Robertson. Idiot. Moron. Jackass. Psycho. Lunatic. Fraud. Satan. And that's being polite. It's amazing how a man obviously missing a couple of books from the New Testament is allowed to pollute the airwaves.

When he's not taking credit for the death of a Supreme Court Justice, he's praying for the assassination of an elected official in Venezuela. But, just to show the world that the old man has still got it, Pat has decided to share with us yet another conversation he's had with God.

Brace yourself, kids. Pat has found out who's the culprit behind Hurricane Katrina. Pssh. No it's the not the God Pat claims to speak for. It's daytime talk show host and....*grits teeth*....LESBIAN (dun dun dun)...Ellen DeGeneres.

“By choosing an avowed lesbian for this national event, these Hollywood elites have clearly invited God’s wrath,” Robertson said on “The 700 Club” on Sunday. “Is it any surprise that the Almighty chose to strike at Miss Degeneres’ hometown?”

He then hinted that Ellen may also be behind 9/11, since she hosted the Emmy awards around the same time. Why oh why is this man not locked inside of a room with padded walls?

Wait, there is more.

“God already allows one awards show to promote the homosexual agenda,” Robertson declared. “But clearly he will not tolerate such sinful behavior to spread beyond the Tonys.”

You cannot make this stuff up.

“America is waiting for her to apologize for the death and destruction that her sexual deviance has brought onto this great nation.”

And I'm waiting for this con artist to get deported.

On Tuesday, Minister Louis Farrakhan spoke on the campus of Howard University. For me it was a bit surreal. Not because of Farrakhan's stature, but because only a few months ago did Republican National Committee Chairman and spinster Ken Mehlman speak on our campus hoping to lure the young and opportunistic into the fold. What a difference a few months make.

Farrakhan's appearance was promoted as the minister paying homage to publishing pioneer and namesake of our school of communications, John H. Johnson. Farrakhan admitted that he did not know Johnson personally, however. Well you know, get in where you fit in. I can't be mad at that.

I'm not particularly fond of Farrakhan, but I will admit that his speech was pretty enjoyable. The man is a talented orator. Full of charm, panache, and has that cut-the-bullshit-let's-get-to-the-real delivery that I can't help but admire.

Farrakhan touched on a number of issues. The effects of globalization on our economy. America being an empire on decline. The need for blacks to become more proficient in mathematics and science instead of focusing on athletics and entertainment.

Like the story of Malcolm being encouraged to become a carpenter versus a lawyer, Farrakhan shared his tale of being told by his 6th grade teacher that it would be in his best interest to become a violinist rather than a doctor. Farrakhan told us that whites seek to keep blacks in disciplines that don't challenge white supremacy.

He then proceeded into breaking down the gender make up of our school, which is currently 62% female. He posed the question I'm sure many educated black females have posed to themselves, "Who am I to marry?" Farrakhan suggested that there is a conspiracy to destroy black men, employing biblical text to drive the point home.

He used a lot of Christian doctrine to reel the audience in. So much that I began to wonder if he lost his Qu'ran and decided to pick up whatever book was left around. I haven't heard so much Jesus since the last time I watched the Stellar awards.

While everyone hooted and hollered at Reverend Louie, I started to wonder what reaction a crowd inside of a mosque would give Jesse Jackson had he discussed the teachings of Elijah Muhammad.

Even I had to give him credit for taking a swipe at T.D. Jakes, who only days before dodged the Kanye West question on CNN, pretending that race had nothing to do w/ the relief efforts or lack thereof in New Orleans. Coward. Then again, when you're in bed w/ the Bush administration, you can't formulate an opinion that hasn't been crafted by Karl Rove. Besides, I’m sure those checks he gets only help keep him closer to God.

I loved that Farrakhan touched on Americans being dumbed down and how it's creating even more sheep in this country.

I even had to rise up and applaud his comment about most universities being modern day plantations as they don’t prepare their students to be critical thinkers and to question things; rather, they encourage and train you to get in where you fit in. Many students at Howard fit that bill to a tee.

All and all, it was a bit touch and go, but after the speech my dislike for him went down. I think part of it was a bit extra, but many speakers of his fame are extra. He is trying to uplift people of color, which is more than I can say for many of his fellow black leaders - particularly the show boating, Benz driving, hallelujah come lately pastors bamboozling parishioners by turning attention to petty political issues while turning a blind eye to the poor economic climate and its effect on our community. Yes, protest abortion, gay marriage, and other cultural issues of little relevance and ignore that your people are hungry, dying, and nihilistic. That’s the sure fire way to lead them onto the promised land. I almost want to sell a bean pie outside of a few churches in protest.

Ain't that a bitch.

"You and I are not in a position to make any judgment because we weren't there."

He later added in a sit-down interview on CNN:

"I'm telling you," nobody thought this was going to happen like this...they had problems they never could have foreseen."

Arianna Huffington sums my thoughts on Slick Willie perfectly:

"Is his need to be a part of this country's wealth and power establishment so great that it blinds him to reality? Is his need to be fawned over so desperate that he has forgotten how to speak the truth?"

House Speaker Dennis Hastert on the future of New Orleans:

"It looks like a lot of that place could be bulldozed."

The man just embodies compassionate conservatism.

Laura Brown, a Federal Aviation Administration spokeswoman, on reports of helicopters being shot at by New Orleans residents:

"We're controlling every single aircraft in that airspace and none of them reported being fired on," she said, adding that the FAA was in contact with the military as well as civilian aircraft."

You mean to tell me someone has been lying? Shocker.

And in another surprise, Halliburton has been tapped to rebuild New Orleans.

Kanye West on this great land of ours:

"America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off as slow as possible."

Condoleezza "I Have No Soul" Rice on charges of racism affecting the relief efforts in New Orleans:

"That Americans would somehow in a color-affected way decide who to help and who not to help, I, I just don't believe it. The African-American community has obviously been very heavily affected. But people are doing what they can for Americans. Nobody wants to see any American suffer."

Negro, grow up.

Crimson, with the "Gold Digger" remix:

He takes my money, when I'm in need
Yea he's a triflin head of state indeed
Oh he's a oil digga way in D.C.
That digs on me

....

If you ain't no punk, holla we want IM PEACH MENT
we want IM PEACH MENT
Yeah!
It's something that we need to have


Get down, Crim, go'n head get down!

Kudos to Jack Cafferty of CNN for speaking out on how race and class factor into the government's behavior in the aftermath of hurricane Katrina. Same for Anderson Cooper and Paula Zahn, who refused to take it easy on Louisiana Senator Mary L. Landrieu and the director of FEMA. Though it may ultimately be deemed inappropriate of them to allow their feelings affect the broadcast, both of Landrieu and the gentleman from FEMA had it coming.