1. Barbara Walters is a freak.

2. Fox News continues to show it’s a “fair and balanced” network by interviewing Pastor Manning -- the mayonnaise sandwich eating, pseudo prophet who probably misses the good old 9-5 jobs slavery once provided.

3. Jay-Z releases another song, leaving me to wonder just how many more songs with references to hustling/drugs, being a God, and being rich over a Timbaland beat can his ass make?

Meanwhile, he has signed on to become the new face of Fendi. That’s gangsta.

3/28/08 - A MESSAGE FROM BEYONCE!

Yesterday, "Beautiful Nightmare," a demo I've been working on for possible inclusion on my next album, leaked on some websites. I want to thank all my fans for the positive response to the song, but I want to tell you that this is just a work in progress. It is not my time to put out new music. If you really want to hear some really great music now, you have to support my girls Kelly, Michelle and my sister Solange. Kelly just re-released her album digitally in the US, so check out "Ms. Kelly: Diva Deluxe." Michelle is about to put out the first single, "We Break The Dawn," from her album and Solange's single, "I Decided," is already one of my favorites.

4. Beyonce has caused Kelly Rowland to flood her bedroom.

5. Wendy might not only be a swinger, but she may also be getting Ike'd by her husband. If these allegations are true, it's time to start a prayer circle. Let's just hope God isn't a Whitney Houston fan.

6. Some publicist takes his job way too seriously as he brands Vivica A. Fox a “fashion icon.” I suppose she’s a fashion icon to chicks like:

…y’know, the type of chick that buys their hair, clothes, food, and gas all at the same place.

7. Mariah Carey decides to sing on key for a change. Too bad it was on the performance that didn’t air on MTV.

8. Dru Hill becomes “Sisqo with Dru Hill” in a joint bill with Jaheim. Who knew the “Thong Song” warranted Diana Ross status?

Sidenote: They have the nerve to charge $60.00 to see Jaheim, Dru Hill, and “Thong Song.”

9. Apparently, male nipples are offensive now, too according to the Orlando Sentinel.

10. Tyra Banks continues to show why the world has to make sure that Oprah never dies.

Labels: week in 10

After being found guilty for shooting her friend outside of a New York club over $3000, Remy Ma faces up to 25 years in prison. It seems the thought of being Foxy Brown’s cellmate for even 25 seconds was enough to take the rapper to MySpace to ask her fans (stop laughing) to write her judge with the hopes that it will result in her receiving a lenient sentence.

Her website says: “Please write letters about how Remy and her music has positively affected you, influenced you, inspired you, etc.”

If you want to send a letter, send it to lettersforremy@gmail.com.

I’ve decided to take this opportunity to do my good deed for the quarter.

Dear Judge:

I’m sure by now you’ve received letters from all over the world pleading with you to take it easy on Remy Ma. Well, I’d like to join those six people and ask that you please have some sympathy towards Remy.

I’ll be honest and say that when I first found out she shot her friend over a couple of thousand dollars, I said to myself, “Self. That’s a stupid ass broad.”

I thought that if she goes to jail, oh well. But that was wrong, judge. Very wrong.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking with some of her lyrics, she’s glorifying the very violent acts she’s since been found of guilty of committing.

“My name is Remy Ma/and I don’t play, I let that lead fly!”

“I’mma bus in the stands/wouldn’t mind goin’ to jail for clappin’ one of my fans!”

“Chrome to ya dome/leave your face down, bullets, lodged in ya bone/see I’m a rapper, but it ain’t just rhymin’/what you know about turnin’ an autograph signin’ into a crime scene!”

“Nigga push up like a bra, I’m strapped/he like yo ma what’s that/I’m like yo, that’s in case you wanna get clapped!”

Ok, so that looks bad. Maybe she does promote violence a little bit. But think of it this way: If that bitch was that gangsta (her words), would she be on MySpace begging her 12 fans to whine you into giving her a get out of jail free card? See, judge: She ain't trill.

Instead of focusing on the negative, I want to highlight some of the good things Remy has done for the community.

Have you heard of the song “Conceited?” Probably not, but just so you know it’s the perfect self-esteem anthem. It lets people know that they can be conceited so long as they have a reason. It brings people together all in the name of arrogance. Yes, judge – even those bugawolves that have no business feeling themselves like that. She includes them, too. Giving monsters hope should knock off a couple years off her sentence.

Then there’s “Lean Back.” Y’know, that dance song that’s not a dance song. It’s for people who are too hung up on acting hard, but still want a dance to do in the club. It’s also for people like Fat Joe, the mastermind behind the song. See, he wants to dance, but if you look at him, you see that he looks like he can barely move, so that song allows him to execute as much motion without flooding the club out with his sweat as humanly possible. Remy assisted him in that goal by lacing that track. Isn’t that like community service?

Sticking with Remy the artist, have you looked at the current breed of female rappers? Do you really want to be the one to add to that endangered species list? Do you really want to leave the world with just Trina and Lil’ Marlon Mama, judge? Do you?

Alright, let’s talk about the crime itself. Judge, I know what she did was wrong, but I think she’s taught us an all important lesson about when keepin’ it real goes wrong.

Just recently I was at a drive-thru and there was this big grouchy, Snuffalufagus looking girl taking my order. On top of having a bad attitude, she got my order wrong. I asked for two fish sandwiches, judge. Not one, but two. I was so hungry, and she only gave me one punk ass fish sandwich. I think the bitch ate my sandwich and charged me for it anyway. Like Remy, I was so angry because I felt like someone stole from me. Remy was on Fat Joe’s label. I doubt she has that much money. Her album sold 14 copies. She’d probably choke a bitch over a fish sandwich, too.

But you see judge, because I’ve learned from Remy that kirkin’ out on people over small amounts of money will only lead to your downfall I didn’t go back and throw hot sauce at the fish sandwich stealing fool.

If you let Remy stay out of jail, through her music, her choices in hair, and record labels, she can teach the world what not to do with your life. Plus, she can teach people like me that shooting people who steal from you isn’t the answer: kicking their ass is. I keed. Don't try to lock me up.

Now, you could be a hater and let Remy deal with the consequences of her actions. But am I going to get a “Conceited Part II” out of that option? No. So please lean back on that sentence, judge.

Said I look too good to be writing this,

Young Sinick

Instead of sitting in a special ed class learning about the dangers of eating paste, how to color within the lines, the little ringtone rapper that could is allowed to roam the streets freely to create what looks like a commercial to put a bullet in hip-hop.

I remember the interview where Soulja Boy claimed to be the hottest emcee in the game -- I figured he was high on Wite-Out or Sour Patches and just talking out the side of his neck. But judging from this, I think this Hooked on Phonics failure actually thinks he can spit.

Why are those two little retards in the background continuously yelling, “AHH!” Does Soulja Boy pay them to sound that stupid on command or is he just that lucky?

What happened to the sophistication of one, maybe two hit wonders like Skee-Lo and Tone Loc?

Did ya’ll hear him say: “You can hate me/But you still love the fucking flow?”

Well: You’s a lie, you can’t rap, bitch. Damn ya mama for not just swallowing dick..AHH!

I told ya’ll: Young Sinick is coming. Don’t sleep.

Thanks to NovaSlim for posting this on this site. Now whenever anyone asks me how I can argue this country is getting dumber, I have video.

Let this be a lesson to you: If you're going to break the law, you better be famous first. A convicted felon gets caught with G.I. Joe's arsenal (with silencers to boot), and he gets a year in prison (15% of which can be reduced through good behavior), and a year to do the type of community service he does anyway. Which basically means he has a year to make enough videos to forget the 8 or 9 months he's actually locked up. And of course, he'll have another album already prepped for release upon his release.

I like T.I., but if he had gone to jail under the typical sentence a non-famous person in his position would have received, I would've been fine with it. You can only get so many chances to get away with your idiocies -- and he's been testing the system for a while now.

Oh well: I'm looking forward to the album. You know it's going to be dope. Speaking of dope, it would be in his best interest to stop recording songs with lyrics that go: "I'm the dopeman nigga/
The dopeman nigga, the dope dope dope the dope dopeman nigga."

Just a thought.

Anyway, I'm sure he's on his knees thanking God and his attorney for getting him out of this. Hopefully, that's not a position he'll have to be in for most of his sentence. Napoleon complex and crazy short-man gene aside, dude makes me look like a Klump. Not a good look for prison. Hey, I'm just saying.

Tiny better start a prayer circle so he won't mess up again. She can't live off those Xscape royalties to take care of that litter of kids they have.

Oh yeah, about the video: Is it me or does T.I. talk like its 1863?

I think it's time we sat every has been and never was down and explain to them that not every forgotten singer, actor, or their cousins deserves a reality show. The same applies to MySpace hoes, groupies, and random pretty rich white people with problems.

I'm going to be honest and say, I did like some of Blaque's songs. In fact, my AIM screen name references their first (of a whopping two) hit single, "808."

Stop laughing at me.

In my defense, I was 15, and I'm not very good with coming up with names and titles sometimes. I think the video just happened to be on TV, and well, like I said, sometimes I don't know any better.

No, for real: Stop laughing at me. Ok, fine. I had it coming.

Anyway, Blaque joins Dawn Robinson, Suge Knight, the lost boys of B2K, and probably Al B. Sure! in trying to regain relevance through the exhausted trend of launching a reality show. Their "show" is called, Blaque In The House. I'm guessing they got that house through Section 8.

It's not to say they shouldn't give it another go, but does anyone really care to watch this? I mean, I'm talking about it, but I'm doing it to make fun of them. It's not the nicest thing to do,
but c'mon, how can you not laugh when at the beginning of the promo you see, "Ten years ago, three girls, and one mentor, changed the face of R&B music. Forever."

Are you laughing yet?

Notice T-Boz, Chris Tucker, and Ronnie Devoe all make cameos in the promo. You know, it's nice to see 1999, 1995, and and 1991 B.C. still alive and kicking, but does anyone else look at that as a sign?

The second TLC that never was wants to be the new Salt 'n Pepa.

Yeah, good luck with that.

At the conclusion of her Access Granted for the "Heaven Sent" video, Keyshia J. Blige talked about her love of the Queen of Hip Hop Soul, noting that she and the first Mary J. Blige are both strong women that have been through a lot -- although she made it clear that she is her own person.

Yeah, about that: As much as I like Keyshia Cole, her original album cover for Just Like You looked like a lost promo shot from the Share My World era. Then there's her second single sounding like a direct rip off of "Enough Cryin'." I can't forget the swagger jacking of Mary's old wigs and haircuts. And now this video.

Keyshia: Mary called. She'd like her video treatment back. This is the "Everything" video on a different beach.

I like Keyshia's sophomore album so much that I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. But if I hear she started getting her ass beat, I'm going to call the police and get Mary's life back.

Have you ever looked at Mariah Carey and wondered just what the hell does she really look like?

If you told me Mariah Carey looked like a big Black man named Percy in person, I would believe you,because she damn sure doesn’t look like this photo.

The Miracle of Adobe continues its unnatural havoc on Mariah Carey’s promotional posters. Sure, it’s a lovely picture: Too bad that’s not Mariah Carey’s face or body.

Whatever graphic design genius Mariah has working on her promotional shots deserves an award. I bet he could make Michael Jackson look like Akon if you paid him enough overtime.

I may be a lamb on the low, but I have to be honest. After years of wine and anti-depressants, Mariah’s face has taken on a more rotund shape. Think Miss Piggy. But thanks to Photoshop, they always have her looking like Jessica Rabbit. That’s just not believable.

There’s nothing wrong with Miss Piggy, Mimi. I actually think it’s appropriate considering Jermaine Dupri has the same shoe size as Kermit T. Frog.

Be natural, my biracial butterfly. We’ll still love you.

While I joined other supporters in the hopes that Barack Obama could engineer a campaign that transcended race, I still held onto the suspicion that ultimately his brown hue would become an issue amongst those in the media and general public.

We can all thank Bill Clinton for first interjecting race into the national debate with his unwarranted (and transparent) likening of Obama to Jesse Jackson, but the now infamous footage of Obama’s pastor, Jeremiah Wright, controversial sermons has given the pundits exactly what they wanted: a way to really put race at the forefront of the campaign.

Though Americans like to tell themselves that race is not the factor that it once was, when the opportunity to evade political correctness and share thoughts on racial issues presents itself, people typically seize upon it.

As the mainstream media continues to dance over the point that Reverend Wright’s comments on 9/11 actually stem from a white U.S. ambassador that shared similar views on Fox News, conservative pundits like Pat Buchanan are seizing the opening they have long salivated for.

In “A Brief for Whitey,” noted conservative politician, author, and commentator, Pat Buchanan published an angry rebuttal to Barack’s historic speech on race relations in America.

Where Obama’s speech dabbled in nuances, Buchanan takes the direct approach in his assessment of the country’s tainted past with the Black community with such a biased view of history that it perpetuates the very racial schism Obama’s speech provokes the country to evaporate.

Buchanan writes: “First, America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known. Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American.”

In essence: Be grateful to God (with his beautiful, piercing blue eyes) that we offered you a free boat ride to paradise, you Black savages. Show gratitude that we remixed some of your beliefs and fused them with our own religious doctrine so that we could save you from your wicked ways. We treated you as if you were beneath us for centuries, and look at yourselves: You now posses a fraction of our success. We did all this to motivate you. It was for your own good. Say you’re welcome.

He goes on to argue that, “no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans” – citing welfare, Section 8, Pell grants, student loans, Medicaid, soup, kitchens, daycare, and affirmative action as means of lending credence to the notion that white America has been the Black community’s best friend.

Funny, that’s not how Black people and fair-minded people of any racial and ethnic background see things, but I suppose I didn’t eat enough government cheese as a child to validate convenient theories for him.

If you’re wondering if white people, and in particular, white women have benefitted from such programs more so than Blacks historically, you’d be right – but Pat would probably tell you to shut up the same way he told author and fellow commentator Keli Goff weeks ago.

Buchanan represents the struggling working class white American. Well that’s at least the ruse he and people like Sean Hannity like to run on people as they build fortunes on promoting racial divides. Nevermind Pat’s own controversial views about Jews, women, and gays, or Sean Hannity’s reported past relationships with Neo-Nazi’s. It’s not about that. This is about the hateful Reverend Wright and how his perceived hatred gives them free reign to be more vocal about their own bigoted ideology – or “A Brief for Whitey” as Pat likes to call it.

It was bound to happen anyway, but Reverend Wright’s mirror-turning rant on America opened the door for not-so-closeted racists to let loose and share another vent against America’s greatest target (or if you adhere to Buchanan’s logic, America’s greatest dependant).

Project Pat continues: “Is white America really responsible for the fact that the crime and incarceration rates for African-Americans are seven times those of white America? Is it really white America’s fault that illegitimacy in the African-American community has hit 70 percent and the black dropout rate from high schools in some cities has reached 50 percent? Is that the fault of white America or, first and foremost, a failure of the black community itself?”

Are you looking at this in disbelief? Are you yelling at the screen about unfair prison sentences, schools being segregated now more than ever, and a major discrepancy in how school funds (what little left anyway) are allocated? You shouldn’t bother; it’s not going to change the minds of people like Pat anyway (nor Pastor Wright, for that matter).

It’s unfortunate that it’s come to this, but it was to be expected. The optimist in Barack Obama speaks to the promise of this country.

It is the idea that, we, as a country, can have a substantive conversation on race, and work towards making meaningful progress in absolving some of the long-standing racial strife in America. It remains to be seen if that dream will ever come to fruition, but if it is it’s clear that be it Reverend Wright or Pat Buchanan, a lot of people want to get things off their chests before we ever reach that point.

Labels: politics as usual

Necole Bitchie is one of the nicer bloggers of cyberspace given that she’s more than willing to help put other bloggers on. She’s taken her generosity to the next level with the launch of The Urban Blogger – a new social network designed to help bloggers who have interests dedicated to the urban market (eff yo brown paper bag -- we clown people, too) connect with each other. There’s useful info, a forum to ask your questions, and she will do spotlights on various blogs in an effort to give bloggers a little shine and the extra traffic. It’s relatively new, but growing, so if you have a blog and you’re looking to help it gain additional notice, gon’ head and click the link and sign up.

Uh huh.

Normally on this site, I spend most of the time offering commentary critical of various aspects related to the world of pop culture and politics. But there are times when criticism ought to take a backseat so that we can properly honor people that have made substantial contributions to society. Contributions that not only bring us together despite our differences, but contributions that bring joy into the hearts and minds of all who partake in its glory.

And arguably, what brings more joy into the hearts and minds of people than a good wing dinner and a biscuit covered in grape jelly? Today, I would like to take the time to salute Al Copeland: mastermind behind the brilliant and fulfilling business venture now known as Popeyes Chicken.

Although he has left this world, his legacy of succulent wings and delectable chicken strips will live on forever.

It really pains me to write this, because this man has done so much for me. Even though their mashed potatoes are as nasty as Paris Hilton's prescriptions, their biscuits are indeed the business. Those onion rings - which some punk ass restaurants now refuse to sell - introduced me to a dish I ignored for so long. And those chicken strips, my goodness -- if the creators of Chicken Little thought I was going to start dipping shrimp into my confetti sweet and sour sauce instead of some Popeyes chicken strips, they need to get off the pipe.

I considered forgoing another meal of brown rice, veggies, and baked chicken in favor of two Chick-fil-a sandwiches tonight. But I think it's only right that if I'm going to digest the grease, I need to stop trying to be saddity and honor a man that has done so much for me. I think I may go order some chicken, and pour a little sauce on the side in memoriam. I'm sure somewhere Beyonce is doing the same (she probably didn't waste the sauce, though).

Thank you, Al for giving so much to the world. Some people may think I'm perpetuating a stereotype right now (It's not like I'm typing this with watermelon seeds in my teeth), but I love Popeyes and it's only right that I show appreciation.

I'm not sure if I'll make this a regular thing or not, but despite not being able to write on every instance of ridiculousness in the world, there are some things that shouldn't go unnoticed.

Now:

1. I noticed that grin Keyshia Cole had on her face when Frankie said she is Black and Italian on their reunion special. She needn’t harp on her possible Italian heritage, because at the end of the day, a breadstick from the Olive Garden has more Italian features than she does.

2. The Dream sounds like R. Kelly pretending to be Prince and looks a lot like a Teddy Graham – he ain’t that hot.

Tell me you don't see the resemblance.

3. Nelly’s new single sucks more than Omarion on Bow Wow’s birthday.

4. The end of the world must be near: Someone on Fox News bought a clue about the network’s biases.

5. Hair and a triple shot of rhythm can only get you so far -- this ain’t gon’ cut it.

6. Puffy should have let Shannon keep that other hair color. Now she looks like Kathy Griffin.

A 12 year-old boy was taken into custody Wednesday night for throwing a rock through the windshield of Soulja Boy’s bus. Why? The kid told arresting officers, "I hate Soulja Boy."

7. Not every child is into short yellow bus hip-hop; there may be hope for us after all. Too bad he missed.

Master P and his son Romeo are filming a movie in their home state of Louisiana called The Pig People. Romeo will play one of five teenagers who venture into a haunted forest to film a documentary about the mythical half-human, half-pig Pig People.

8. I could make more money selling gonorrhea than they could pushing this DVD.

9. Kanye West sometimes dresses like hip hop’s court jester. He looks like he's about to tell a few jokes for the King and pray he doesn't get beheaded afterwards.

10. Reality television must end. I would say more about this trailer, but since this is related to Suge Knight, I’m afraid to. You should be, too.

Labels: week in 10

“What’s on ya mind?” is a question rapper Rocko poses on “Dis Morning” – the kick off track from his debut album, Self-Made. He quickly ends any speculation by answering, “The only thing on my mind is money, money, money” – a sentiment conveyed on just about every single track that follows.

With money on his mind, Rocko spends much of the hour talking about the almighty dollar. How it drives him to hustle; how it helps him stay fly; how it’s gotten him out of a dire situation; how he’ll never go back to a pre-money having existence.

Perhaps that’s why he takes a very safe approach in subject matter with his first release. Self-Made is the quintessential mainstream hip-hop album of this decade: A beat driven ode to money and materialism complete with several thug references to preserve street credibility.

It’s a blueprint mainly used for emcees with talents that can only be deemed marginal at best. Such is the case with Rocko, who with lines like “You make it sprinkle/I make it tsunami,” is fortunate to rap only for fortune given that any hope of gaining respect for his lyrical skills went under with that very surge of water.

Though Rocko may not be putting much activity into his pen and pad, he’s certainly making sure his time spent at the mall isn’t wasted. If you didn’t catch Rocko’s affinity for Louis Vuitton on the album’s first single, “Umma Do Me,” he reminds you throughout several tracks on Self-Made. That free publicity doesn’t end with that noted designer, however. Rocko is big on Gucci, too.

Besides breaking new ground with references to his passion for fashion, Rocko shares musings on another topic new to hip-hop -- the treacherous gold-digger. Rocko has some choice words for female pursers trying to mask their greed under the guise of an “I love you.” Though “That’s My Money” is intended to serve as a warning to all those hoping to pull the okie doke over Rocko, one has to wonder why he’s so surprised that some women are only interested in his money when it’s the only subject he seems to speak with passionately.

Nevermind. That would require much more thought than the artist intended to provoke. I suppose we can surmise his stance the way singer and the mother of his children, Monica, does when she sings, “A thug need love, too.” (“Thugs Need Love Too”) That’s love produced without a receipt, I suppose.

Back to what really matters -- Rocko’s money. The rapper takes his Jeezy-like flow to let us know that his “Old Skools costs more than your new school,” (“Old Skool”), he enjoys spending money like there’s no tomorrow (“Tomorrow”), but his swagger is priceless (“Priceless”).

At a time when rap sales are on a noted decline, it’s interesting to find so many rappers still so superfluous with their spending habits. Now that we’ve reached the era of the ringtone rapper, it’s a good thing Rocko’s swagger is priceless because all that he raps about isn’t. Rocko the hustler will be tested now that he’ll have to pay for his Louis, Gucci, and those bottles he likes to pop on the sales of .99 cent singles versus $10-$15 full fledge albums. As for the now-transparent genre in general, it’s likely we’ll have to listen to several more Rocko’s before it dawns on anyone that while their lyrical content has yet to change, the game has.

Labels: review

Look no further than the candidacy of Mike Huckabee as proof that the majority of the religious right consists of nothing more than pseudo-Christians who bastardize religious dogma in the name of securing power and wealth. When the "born-again Christian" candidate George W. Bush first gained national prominence, the Ralph Reed's of the world praised him as God's chosen candidate: Someone who lived by the virtues of Christ that would restore decency to the office.

What we really got was an ex-coke head whose foreign policy seemed rooted in facilitating the Rapture -- suggesting that while he and his war mongering cohorts may indeed be skipping out on blow these days, they're surely still hitting the bottle. George W. Bush, whose campaign strategy consisted mainly of divide and conquer fear tactics, has been antithetical to everything both Christian and conservative.

Then comes Mike Huckabee, an ordained minister who embraces creationism, advocates basing government laws on the Ten Commandments, doing away with the tax system, promoting celibacy, limiting abortion, limiting the rights of gays, and virtually every other "moral issue" pushed by the ever-controlling religious right wing of the Republican Party.

When they have what they wanted presented to them on a platter, they scoff at him and instead try to latch on to Mitt Romney - who as a Mormon, doesn't even fall in line with their view of what a Christian is.

Why is that? Fast forward to 3:30 of this clip.



It's because they don't really want what they advocate. It's just a tactful way of suckering enough people to support their own self-serving causes.

I think Mike Huckabee is a likable person besides the fact that if he met me, he'd probably tell me that he'll pray that God hands me a cup of ice before he condemns me to hell. Still, I respect someone that actually believes what they're saying -- even if I don't agree with the notion that the world is flat.

I highly doubt any other conservative comes out and be that forthright about the speech, and for that, I appreciate Mike Huckabee.

Judging from the responses I've read and seen on Obama's speech, I have to be honest and say that I feel that a lot of Americans deserve the conditions they live in. Bush won on the hatred of gays and Muslims, and now some people are crying false victimhood against the very people who built this country. If McCain wins, I'm curious to see what these people will think of more job losses, the prospects of more domestic terrorism (which can happen if war happy McCain is given a free ride to blow up the world), and their dollars equating the worth of a peso.

That is what voting on hate will get you...and we reap what we sow.

Labels: politics as usual

1. Your imbecilic, sophomoric, bad joke of a President is still trying to link 9/11 with the war in Iraq.

2. His puppeteer, while fishing on the boat of the Sultan of Oman, plays the same game with Iran that he did with Iraq as he ignores the will of the American people.



3. While politicians talk a good game about people talking about a good game, their own words are now haunting them. Experience means nothing if you don't learn from your past mistakes.



4. This silly, stubborn, foolish old man blows his line about Al Qaeda in Iraq (he meant to say they are in Iran on January 21, 2009, should he win the Presidency) as he plans to blow up the rest of the Middle East -- clearly living by the adage, "If I go, we all go."

5. 3,990 troops killed. 29, 395 wounded. 2,100 have tried to commit suicide.

By the way this war is estimated to have cost over a trillion dollars already. That trillion dollar figure could have went to preventing a generation of children from talking like toothless slaves.

Thanks a lot, Bush, Democrats that stood by him, and the mindless sheep that allowed themselves to be sucked in. I guess we can all at least take comfort in the joy that Exxon Mobile and Halliburton feel about the war.

Labels: politics as usual

I really miss Jodeci (Oooh yeah). Back then Puffy was hungry, ready to take a $2 budget and create something that looks like it at least cost $100 to make. Now we live in an age where videos don't really air on video channels, thus a couple of quick dance moves over a fake back drop provided by the green screen will suffice for most viewers who will only look at videos for the first few seconds before they click on something else on YouTube anyway.

Puffy was probably too busy focusing on dodging Kim Porter, the LA Times, and a couple of lawsuits to really put more thought into how to make sure his would be sequel to New Edition got the proper push off.

It's not that terrible, but it's still pretty forgettable. The one thing I really hate about the video is the words sprawling across the screen throughout the whole thing. If I needed to know the words that badly, I could have turned on closed captioning.

And poor Mike: They could have given him a bigger jacket. That jacket looks like it has him in a choke hold. Got him going to the hospital as soon as the video wrapped.

Let's hope the album is better.

Now, when I pass by the man selling the Obama t-shirts he no doubt made with the help of a Sharpie and his vintage Packard Bell desktop, I don't knock his hustle.

When walking to the Obama rally listening to the man say he hopes you can help him fund the pork chop dinner he's planning for tonight with the purchase of his Obama shirt, I don't knock his hustle.

But some hustles, yeah, I'll knock it.

Like this eBay seller pushing "Obama Miracle Toast." The current bid sits at $44.00.

The description reads as follows:


Watch him get a reality show out of this.

Some of the comments are hilarious:


It's a miracle his toaster hasn't turned on him like the one on Ghostbusters for playing the fool.

By the way, the seller lives in Southern California. These people live among us.

This Nutty Negro Itis epidemic must be stopped. You would think crab season was at a record high the way so many kooky Black folk suffering from diarrhea of the mouth and severe pain from the stupid stick that’s obviously gone upside their heads are running off at the mouth. The latest victim of this ongoing phenomenon is Bill Maxwell of the St. Petersburg Times, who assails Black people that have dared to embrace Barack Obama’s campaign over Hillary Clinton’s in a column entitled, “Phony Black Friends Ditch Sen. Clinton.” Catchy.

Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton should be leery of ever trusting the word of another black person, especially the word of elected officials, celebrities and other elites. She most certainly should never again trust the word of black preachers.

If you’re wondering: Yes, he’s serious.

To wit: While Obama was still wet behind the ears, Clinton was advocating for the Children's Defense Fund, an organization that improved the lives of countless black children in urban and rural America.

She did so for a whopping year after law school. Then she went off to fight for the little guy via working for corporate law firms and serving on the board of Walmart.

When the U.S. Supreme Court of John Roberts last year rejected integration plans in two major public school districts in Louisville and Seattle, Clinton showed her disappointment in a speech shortly after the decision.

Hillary Clinton launched her career in politics as a “Goldwater Girl.” If you recall, Barry Goldwater vehemently opposed Civil Rights. Zoom, watch our savior go.

Whenever members of the Congressional Black Caucus needed extra clout to help them with black-related legislation, they turned to Clinton. When black leaders needed a powerful voice to add weight to a symbolic gesture, such as the commemoration of a civil rights cause or an event, they called Clinton. When they needed a keynote speaker for this or that gala, they called Clinton.

And then those no good coloreds just turned their back on Miss Hillary like the no good people they are. True enough she has done some good for women, children, and minorities, but who knew supporting righteous causes meant all those who benefited from it ought to offer indentured servitude to properly illustrate gratitude?

She had no way of knowing that reality would be turned on its head and that all of her good deeds and generosity would be forgotten and that many blacks would one day paint her as their enemy. She misjudged her supporters as did the character in Shakespeare's play Henry VI, who said: "In thy face I see the map of honor, truth, and loyalty."

Shakespeare? Would someone tell this Negro to please grow up. As far as I know Stephanie Tubbs-Jones, Maxine Waters, Sheila Jackson-Lee and several Black politicians are still supporting the Clinton sequel campaign. None of those women are passing, so are we a monolith or not?

Not all blacks have betrayed Clinton. Some have honorably, and courageously, stayed with her.

The honorable thing to do would be to drop Maxwell off in West Baltimore, South Houston, Bedstuy, or Compton in a Ronald Reagan t-shirt.

Win or lose, Hillary Clinton has earned the right to never trust the word of another black person. Somewhere between the Bible and the pseudo-wisdom of the barbershop, many blacks abandoned any sense of loyalty and betrayed a woman who has been a friend.

The same friend that allowed her husband, her surrogates, and her campaign managers to marginalize the first man of color to have a legitimate shot at becoming President as nothing more than a coke-abusing, fancy word using second-tier sequel to Jesse Jackson. The same woman married to the man responsible for welfare reform, harsher sentencing laws, and cuts in education that have left Black people with a generation that will soon make Soulja Boy look like Langston Hughes. With friends like that, who needs enemies? And with Black people like Bill Maxwell, who needs Rush Limbaugh, Rupert Murdoch, and Sean Hannity?

Let us join in prayer that Bill Maxwell’s keyboard commits suicide.

Labels: politics as usual

While it’s great that Mario is finally getting some much needed national media attention, shouldn’t this season of Dancing with the Stars token R&B contestant be Omarion?

Mario is arguably one of the better male R&B vocalists to come out in years, but judging from the promotional efforts of his record label, he may likely end up being more known for his stint on a reality show than the good work he’s produced in the studio.

Isn’t that a bit…depressing? While “Crying Out For Me” continues to slowly struggle up the upper echelon of the Hot 100, Mario’s skillfully executed album, Go!, is a distant memory from the album charts.

Part of that is rooted in the poor setup for the album. Constant back-and-forth switches in first single choices; poor promotional launch of the album; even after the much forgotten first single picks up the steam, the label has done little to capitalize off its increasing airplay. Then there’s the idea to place him on a tour bill with Kelly Rowland – a tour that died before it even began.

You would think Marques Houston was his manager.

I saw his album on sale at Target for $7.87. Please tell me J Records purchased commercial time after Mario’s performance?

In an era of R&B where the majority of the male vocalists sound like victims of Newports, sore throat, or late puberty, wouldn’t it be awful if this becomes his biggest claim to fame?

Well it’s that time of the quarter again: Y’know, beg ya’ll to spread the blog link around like an STD at an Uncle Luke event.

I know, I know: I sound like a Bad Boy artist asking for their publishing back.

I’ve been working on my sales pitch, though. Want to hear it? Here it go.

You don’t want to see me tossing on some hooker Air Max’s and doing a two-step on the ho stroll, do you? I didn’t think so. (Now if you nodded yes after reading that last sentence: that’s cold blooded, pimpin’.)

So, if you would be so kind as to forward this blog to your co-workers, classmates, and fellow internet whores like myself (but not whore in the freaky way; more like the information junkie, disease free mold), I would be most appreciative. Just spam them. You can title the email anything you’d like. I like “A Little Procrastination Never Hurt Nobody” myself.

Or if you know somebody that knows somebody that can assist in expanding the brand, feel free to title it: “Give This Colored Boy Some Work.”

Diablo Cody went from the pole to the blog to the Oscars because the right agent read her blog. I’ve been known to get low, but what if I decide to one day be the next Barack Obama (only less “We Are The World”-ish), I can’t have that on my record.

It’s not like I’m asking you to leave any money on the nightstand (but if you’re down for that, too, I have PayPal). I just want you to help the cause. C’mon nah. Do it for love.

Thank you.

She ought to try this approach herself.

Buffy Da Bodee and her boyfrand, Goochee Mane, posteded a veedeo from hurr innanet raallidy show, Buffy Da Bodee On Demann. En dis heer clep, Buffy triccd some nu rims off Goochee. N den, dey tawk bout musausages, pedeecoolers, in sum otha sheet.

Affta luking at dis, I got sum ?s 4 yaal:

1. Slavery is over, right?

2. No, for real. Do they know we's free now, boss?

3. Am I the only one who wanted to call 1-800-ABCDEFG? after watching this?

4. Did you lose about 20 brain cells after listening to these two for four minutes?

5. Isn't it amazing what butt injections, Remy hair, gold teeth, and smoking your education away can do for people these days?

6. Is Gucci moving bricks or something? How can he afford to buy Buffy that car? Did that many of ya'll download the "Freaky Girl" ring tone?

7. The editor of this clip is dead wrong. Aren't these two way hotter than Will and Jada? They're at least giving Cruella Barrino and Young Dro a run for their pawn shop loan, right?

8. Should I feel bad that despite talking all of this noise, I understood everything they said?

9. Ya'll do realize that thanks to No Child Left Behind and reality TV, there are going to be a whole generation of colored children speaking just like these two?

10. After watching this, are you thinking about grabbing your digital camera, and your local crackhead to shoot a pilot for a reality show, too?

B.J. Taylor is the first of the group of her racist Klan to speak with the media on last week's jumping of WSPA-TV reporter Charmayne Brown.

Brown was reporting on the death of 73-year-old Tommy Howell, who was killed by his grandson, Shane Howell. Family members, including B.J. Taylor, Tousha Smith, Billie Joe Taylor, and Trina Vinson began to yell racial slurs at Brown before they attacked her.

Click here for the video.

Tousha, Billie Joe, and Trina are currently hanging out with Jethrow, Ella Mae, and probably some old retired Reagan staff member at a Union jail as they are being held on assault and battery charges. South Carolina has no law allowing a hate crime charge. Imagine that.

Union, South Carolina is the hometown of Susan Smith. If you recall she murdered her two young children and falsely blamed it on a Black man.

While she apologized for being caught attacking a Black person on-camera, B.J. wanted to assure people that the attacks weren't racially motivated. Right. Nigger just slipped a couple dozen times because bitch, hoe, or asshole weren't good enough. Billie Jean, Blow Job, whatever her name is conveniently left out the part about other news teams being on the scene. Guess what color they all were?

I was waiting for B.J. to say, "Nah we likes Black people. We have no problem with them. We watch Oprah. We like Snoop. We even listen to Eminem...he's kind of Black, ain't he?"

Well, I don't know about ya'll, but I'm not going to let these broke bigots bring me down. I'll leave you with this:



If a bi-racial butterfly and an ewok can come together and create a song, isn't there hope for us all?

Clover Hope had the luxury of interviewing hip hop great turned rhyming crack pipe DMX for XXL recently. I imagine speaking with DMX to be a lot like trying to have a conversation with the homeless man that barks at cars who typically drowns in his own drool.

The interview, in a nutshell: DMX doesn't care about anything, nor is he following anything. Why? Because he's so focused on smoking crack right now. I can only imagine how fun transcribing that interview must have been.

The most interesting part of the interview is Clover enlightening DMX about this blog's resident
candidate of choice.

Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!

Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

Why is he allowed to roam the streets freely? I hope they don't let that fool onto the set of 106 & Park. I'd hate to see those kids jump him for trying to steal their iPods.

To be fair: He did make some sense about Lil' Wayne, then that crack itch kicked back in.

Working on life.
Yeah, working on life.

Are you happy right now?
I don’t wanna be happy.

Why not?
’Cause when you happy you get locked in sleep. You get sleepy happy. I always wanna be on point. I always wanna be aware.

Right, ’cause when you’re happy you think you’re safe and you don’t…
Yeah, you get sleepy happy.

Actually, take a big scoop of Crisco, and pour half a bottle of Grey Goose into a pan full of hot grease: That's DMX's brain.

He makes me feel so much better about that crack head that lives down the street from me. The one with no teeth that has picnics (a 40, a Big Mac, and laying on the ground = picnic) across the street from the corner store. His name is Major and DMX makes him look like Will Smith.

The next time I hear him say, "Buy me a beer" I think I just might -- all because of DMX.

If they ever bring back D.A.R.E., they need to use this Q&A as a pamphlet.

Talking About Your Sex Tape

We get it. You are into sexual voyeurism with talentless, Black-peen chasing daughters of famous defense attorneys. Who have you slept with lately? Actually, don’t answer that because I don’t care. Sure, there are obliviously people that do. But for those of us that are trying to figure out what reasons are you relevant outside of making internet porn, we’d like to hear something about you that won’t lead to a follow-up at the clinic. Thanks.

Turning Comic Book Series Into Films

Not even Ed Norton can get me to use my outdated student ID to get a discount to pay for this. Wasn’t there already An Incredible Hulk film that crashed and burn a few years ago? Take the hint. As for Ed: Good luck with your Obama documentary. I imagine that doing much better than this movie.

Debating

Both campaigns have now agreed to an April 16 Philadelphia debate, hosted by ABC. Obama, however, is insisting on an April 19 CBS debate as well — in North Carolina. It would be hosted by Katie Couric and Bob Schieffer. Clinton hasn't accepted the second debate, but Obama spokesman Bill Burton says that Obama won't make one contingent on the other.

How many times are they going to debate their minimal policy differences for two minutes, then go back-and-forth over healthcare for two hours? Will I watch it? Yes, I’ll be suckered into it out of curiosity. Do I expect to hear anything different from the other 20+ debates? Not in the least.

Reciting Poems on Other People’s Tracks

Must Diddy Puff recite monologues on every Bad Boy artists’ track? Instead of reciting sonnets on Danity Kane’s singles, book an appearance on Def Poetry instead. That or take it back to the shorter, simpler “Take that, take that” days.

Recyling Beats

If I hear one more fake “Irreplaceable” track I’m going to dig into some old rich lady’s purse and book me a flight to Norway, break into Stargate’s studio, and delete that beat off of the computer. You must not know ‘bout me.

???

I really don’t know what to call it, but stop it. Why does he look like he’s about to go climb the Empire State building?

Recycling Ideas

The CW is developing a spin-off of Aaron Spelling’s teen soap Beverly Hills, 90210, reports The Hollywood Reporter. Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas is in talks to write the spin-off project about the world’s most popular zip code.

Isn’t that what The OC was? How many pale rich kids with problems does the world need? Come up with something new. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if millions of people watch this.

Blocking

I want to see those last two episodes of The Boondocks, dammit. I’m still waiting to find out if Moesha got pregnant. I don’t need another cliffhanger.

Falling In and Out of “Love”

Even your baby mama is tired of it. Go fall in love with the whooper. Judging from your crown, you and Burger King would make a lovely couple.

Getting Arrested For Dumb S*it

In the trunk, police said they found 29 hollow-point bullets wrapped in a sock and $19,500 rolled in small bundles and hidden in a plastic bag filled with "hundreds of Jolly Rancher" candies.

Why did you have so many Jolly ranchers on you anyway? Diabetes is as real as album pushbacks, LaRon.

Starting Clothing Lines

It’s getting to the point now where people famous for not wearing clothes are starting clothing lines.

And now:

We have people that dress like walking night lights starting clothing lines. Does Ross really need anymore forgotten lines?

Reality Shows

We are this close to having an interracial dwarf couple have a dance-off competition with two bi-curious twins. The madness must be stopped.

Passing Her The Mic

She's still talking. Who keeps letting her out of Shady Pines?

It must be so hard to direct a rap video. So many videos girls to choose from. So many bottles to pop. So many chains to floss. So many hip hop video themes to recycle. What is a director to do?

This is video for "Lolipop," the first single from Lil Wayne's forthcoming album, which is scheduled for release in May. Right. I'll believe it when I download it walk by it at Target.

The video looks like "If I Ruled The World: The Ign't Years." Don't ask me why, but I was expecting more. Not that Wayne is known for his cinematic masterpieces, but I was under the impression that his being drugged out seven days out of the week might eventually lead to some creative video treatments.

I guess not.

Get this: I actually like the song. I know, I know. I usually don't fool with that miniature D.A.R.E. commercial like that, but it's catchy. Someone must have poured some drank in my juice cup, but what can I say? I'm a sucker for a vocoder.

By the way: R.I.P. Static. He's featured on both the single and video for "Lolipop" and is behind some of my favorite songs like "Rock The Boat," "Pony," "Eyes Better Not Wander," and "Come Back In One Piece."

May he rest in peace.

The more this campaign goes on, the more contempt I have for Hillary Clinton. When her surrogates aren’t suggesting that Barack Obama is a cokehead, her husband is trying to marginalize him as the Black candidate -- with his wife dismissing election results where Black people make up a large percentage of the electorate as nothing more than a display of racial pride.

As expected, this race-baiting style of politics that seeks to play off the racial prejudices that linger on in this country in the name of career advancement presses on, despite its growing moments or irony and absurdity. Former Democratic Vice Presidential Candidate and Dorothy Zbornak look-alike, Geraldine Ferraro, has been making waves for her comments about Barack Obama’s front-runner status -- arguing that his darker hue is the main factor behind his success.

"If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position," she continued. "And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept."

Yes, we all know how privileged Black men are in this society. This from the mouth of a person who was nothing more than a token choice based on her estrogen count in a throwaway election against a popular incumbent President twenty fours ago.

Ferraro isn’t doing anything but following Gloria Steinem’s lead in stating that gender is much greater hurdle in this country than race. Steinem has since retracted her statement that gender is the most restricting factor in this country given it was pointed out to her that while Black men were given the right to vote before women, they weren’t exactly greeted with fanfare at the polls.

Dorothy Zbornak: The Remix is sticking to her story:

While I appreciate her honesty about how gender factored into her selection as Mondale’s running mate in ’84, she still sounds like someone who leads a life devoid of reality.

Case in point:

"For one thing, you have the press, which has been uniquely hard on her. It's been a very sexist media. Some just don't like her. The others have gotten caught up in the Obama campaign.

Since being criticized for her comments, Ferraro has gone on to say that racism works both ways and that people are now targeting her because she’s white. That pour soul.

To be fair, Hillary Clinton has been a target of sexism. People have questioned her femininity and in the same breath argue that she has to be stronger. Her choices in wardrobe have been debated as has the way she's chosen to wear her hair. And they are indeed some people who spew venom her way because she is a powerful woman.

But let’s stop pretending.

Hillary Clinton is an ivy league educated upper class white female married to the former President of the United States. If Hillary Clinton ran as Hillary Rodham, would she even be in contention for the Democratic nomination? If she were Hillary Rodham, would she have launched her political career as the junior Senator from New York?

The idea that a wealthy white woman married to the President faces more hurdles than a man of color not born of privilege is laughable and ignores a certain privilege afforded to her.

She has been given a free ride throughout the campaign. Her “vast” experience is as thin as a crackhead in ’88.

While the media has pressed Obama about the Rezko fiasco, little has been said about her husband’s presidential library contributors, and the likely presidential favors that come with them. Unlike every other candidate, she has yet to release her tax returns. Why should she when the media hasn’t pressed her to?

When an Obama adviser branded Hillary a “monster,” the Clinton campaign vehemently called for her removal. However, nothing outside of expressed “regret” as come from the Clinton camp in response to Dorothy Ferraro’s comments. Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell’s comments that Pennsylvania voters may not be “ready” to cast their vote for a Black man were glossed over completely.

When she’s not playing victim, she’s usually on the attack, vilifying her opponent to the point where you have to wonder if John McCain managed to wrestle enough pocket change to chip into her fledging campaign.

If the press were being hard on her (or fair), they would chip away at her fabricated experience and point to her actual roles as corporate lawyer, Walmart board member, and the years she spent in the White House keeping the press at bay.

Or maybe they would target her claims as a child advocate on the issue of episodes like these:

But there is a little-known episode Clinton doesn't mention in her standard campaign speech in which those two principles collided. In 1975, a 27-year-old Hillary Rodham, acting as a court-appointed attorney, attacked the credibility of a 12-year-old girl in mounting an aggressive defense for an indigent client accused of rape in Arkansas - using her child development background to help the defendant.

The more she cries victimhood, the more annoyed I become. She is no victim. She and Ferraro are nothing more than walking, antagonizing examples of affirmative actions main beneficiaries.

I applaud her for trying to be a First Lady of substance, but it’s not as if going on trips to Bosnia with Sinbad has brought us one step closer to world peace. When she's not crying publicly to plea to female voters for their support, she’s releasing campaign ads featuring women of every color to “Do it for Hillary!” Her campaign is largely based on the successes of her husband, and for a long time relied on him to attack Obama. Is that feminism?

Hillary Clinton is to feminism what Soulja Boy is to hip hop. Her career has very little parallels to the female Senators and Governors who have prospered based on their own records versus those of their husbands. And if she were that much of a hardship candidate, she wouldn't run her campaign with an air of inevitability.

When Obama wins Mississippi and South Carolina, it’s because he’s the Black candidate. When he wins Wyoming, Utah, Iowa, and North Dakota, these states simply don’t matter. But when Hillary Clinton’s campaign launches racsist divide and conquer tactics to win Texas and Ohio, she is the comeback kid.

The world is so cruel to her.