1. Does Mariah Carey make it her mission to impersonate Marilyn Monroe in every single video she shoots?
2. When is Kool-Aid going to sue Keyshia Cole for copyright infringement?
3. With reports of her beefing with Fantasia and Kanye West suspending her from dates on his tour over a rift, when is someone going to let Keyshia know that Mary didn’t start wildin’ until
after she moved some units?
4. Speaking of Mary, with her back to some of her old ways like publicly beefing with journalists, is anyone else more excited than ever about her new album,
The Breakthrough?
5. Is Gwen Stefani ever going to emancipate those Harajuku Girls?
6. With Ashanti pushing perfume at Walmart and an underwhelming new single featuring Method Man and Paul Wall (interesting combo there, Shani) already floundering at radio, is it safe to say Beyonce won?
7. So does this mean no solo album from sister, ShiShi?
8. Will Donell Jones ever get the respect he deserves?
9. Who else would take self-absorbed, status-quo challenging Madonna over self-absorbed, pseudo spiritualist Madonna any day?
10. As much as we want a new UGK album, when we say “Free Pimp C,” do we ever take into account that, y’know, technically Pimp C deserved to go to jail?
11. Is the new Outkast film, “Idlewild” the next “Under the Cherry Moon?”
12. Are the Pussycat Dolls the new Vanity 6?
13. Will LeToya Luckett be to Houston what Ciara is to Atlanta?
14. Do you even know who LeToya Luckett is?
15. Is Q-Tip really going to release that sophomore solo effort, tentatively titled
Live At The Renaissance?
16. Why is Kelly Clarkson such a guilty pleasure?
17. When will the following ever give us new albums: D’Angelo? Lauryn Hill? Christina Aguilera? Maxwell? The Fugees? Foxy Brown? Erykah Badu? Sade?
18. With no daddy around when she was growing up and no consumers copping her disc after she pushed her pubescent tits up like she doesn’t give a f*#@, how much does it suck to be Teairra Mari right now?
19. Anyone else dying to see Lil Kim without the weave, makeup and collegian injections?
20. I’m not the only one who thinks John Legend looks like Teddy Ruxpin, am I?
The Cynical Ones.