How many Christians do you know of that have remained true to the teachings of the Bible that speak against fornication, i.e. pre-marital sex? After giggling for a few seconds, take a minute (though I doubt it takes that long) to debate how effective preaching abstinence to non-believers will be. If you're a logical thinker, the idea of giving money to Christian groups to fight AIDS abroad would trouble you. But, if you're a zealot who wouldn't know rational thinking if it screamed at him in his huge ears, you would blow nearly one quarter of your AIDS-fighting grants on religious groups. Your President has decided to make this his millionth mistake while in office.

Award recipients include a Christian relief organization famous for its televised appeals to feed hungry children, a well-known Catholic charity and a group run by the son of evangelist Billy Graham, according to the State Department.

What? Why? Moron. Grr.

The Bush administration provided more than 560 million condoms abroad last year, compared with some 350 million in 2001.

That's encouraging.

Conservative Christian allies of the president are pressing the U.S. foreign aid agency to give fewer dollars to groups that distribute condoms or work with prostitutes.

So much for that. I mean why would you want to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases when you can make feeble attempts at stopping a practice that has been around for centuries? Who cares about saving lives? We must stop victimless, immoral crimes that are far easier to target than the major ones like war and greed. Besides, if we guilt people up enough about sex, they'll stop thinking about how we've failed them by supporting a President whose policies pay homage to the seven deadly sins.

"We clearly recognize that it is very important to work with faith-based organizations," said Dan Mullins, deputy regional director for southern and western Africa for CARE, one of the best-known humanitarian organizations.

"But at the same time we don't want to fall into the trap of assuming faith-based groups are good at everything," Mullins said.

Mullins seems like a nice guy. A very smart individual, indeed. We needn't be too honest about our feelings of this change in direction. You don't disagree with Bush if you need the funds. I'll do it for Mullins. Bush isn't doing me any favors.

"But at the same time we don't want to fall into the trap of assuming faith-based groups are good at everything" is a subtle way of saying that bullshit of theirs won't work way over yonder. Yes, I said way over yonder. Over the ocean = way over yonder.Religious groups are effective usually because they have ties to their community. That I’ll give them. However, limiting the distribution of condoms and replacing talk of practicing safe sex (which is what will likely happen) is not only very dangerous, it's foolish. It doesn't work here, so why would it anywhere else?

Let's take a good look at some of these groups:

Samaritan's Purse, which is run by Graham's son, Franklin. It says its mission is "meeting critical needs of victims of war, poverty, famine, disease and natural disaster while sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ."

How colonial.

World Vision. The 56-year-old Christian organization is known for its TV appeals — some with celebrities such as game show host Alex Trebek — that asked people to support a Third World child.

Yes. Prevent AIDS by promising people a chance to meet a man many of them have likely never heard of. Genius this is.

Catholic Relief Services. It was awarded $6.2 million to teach abstinence and fidelity in three countries; $335 million in a consortium providing anti-retroviral treatment; and $9 million to help orphans and children affected by HIV/AIDs. The group offers "complete and correct information about condoms" but will not promote, purchase or distribute them, said Carl Stecker, senior program director for HIV/AIDS.

I was raised Catholic. You’ve got to love a statement that saves you the time of pointing out the contradictions it’s full of. It’s like CCE without the work.

And just what will these organizations be doing? Dumbya’s biding, of course.

For prevention, Bush embraces the "ABC" strategy: abstinence before marriage, being faithful to one partner, and condoms targeted for high-risk activity. The Republican-led Congress mandated that one-third of prevention money be reserved for abstinence and fidelity.

I’m thinking of a few letters about this strategy and the man who embraces it. Let’s see, F,U,C…guess the other four.