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Thursday, May 31, 2007
1:12 AM



With each passing year I've noticed that fast food workers have gotten stingier and stingier when it comes to handing out condiments.

Some chains have a set limit of allotted sauces based on the size of your nugget order. Often rude drive-thru window attendants don't even bother to place any condiments in your bag. Some cashiers look at you as if you've asked them for their eggs and sperm when asking for more than two lil punk ass sized ketchup packets.

Now, thanks to one jack ass, I'll be lucky if they're not chunking my honey mustard or sweet and sour sauce at my head.

In Miami, a manager was shot several times in the arm by an angry customer. It's restaurant policy to only give out three packets of chilli sauce, but the sauce happy patron insisted on more. Clearly bucking under pressure, the manager upped the sauce ante to ten packets, but that still wasn't enough.

"I did not know I got shot," Frage said. "When I went back to the office, I saw blood pumping our of my arm and I was shocked. I was checking myself out and couldn't believe I got shot over some chili sauce."The customer fled in a brown four-door vehicle with a female passenger."I got shot over chili sauce," Frage said. "I was trying to figure while in the hospital why someone would shoot me over some chili sauce."

Hold up. How do you not know when you've been shot? Thankfully, I've only had a gun in my face. I've never felt a bullet, but I know if I can feel a bb gun pellet, I should probably know the real thing when it hits me. How big do you imagine his arm is? I mean, even Carl Winslow felt the bullet when he got shot on Family Matters.

But alas: "I got shot over chili sauce," Frage said. "I was trying to figure while in the hospital why someone would shoot me over some chili sauce."

Must be some sauce. Who wants to bet no one is going to have any problems getting extra ketchup and sauce for a while?

The Cynical Ones.
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