What do you do when your daughter is both an alcoholic and drug addict in trouble with the law? Do you drop everything you're doing and cater to your child? Do you ignore anyone outside of your immediate circle in an effort to respect your child's privacy and care for their safety? Do you finally stop making it about you and more about your child?

Nah, fool. You must be on that rock, too. What you do is go on national television and talk about how devastating this is to you and your family. That is, if you're Lindsay Lohan's mother, Dina Lohan, or "White Oprah" as she likes to be called.

Oprah: The Melanin Challenged Version gave an exclusive interview to The Insider (take that, take that, Entertainment Tonight and E!) and discussed how she feels about her powder-abusing, possible malt liquor sippin' (hey, chasing your personal assistant's mother is gangsta) daughter's latest tragedy (in an increasingly long list of them).

"I am sick over this. My children, my family -- we are like prisoners in our own home because paparazzi is staked outside. Lindsay is in a safe place and we are trying to strategically work out our next step. We are doing everything in our power in support of Lindsay. And I won't give up. This is my daughter and we love her. We are waiting for the press frenzy to die down and leave her alone. Please respect our privacy."

"Please respect our privacy." This from the woman who brought cameras to capture her daughter's first stint in rehab. And by capture I mean use her daughter's fame to garner some media attention for herself.

I like Lindsay Lohan and I think it's unfortunate that she has become one of the most visible members of the "White Girl Lost" clique. I feel sorry for her battles with addiction. I feel even sorrier that despite their child being all over the press for public scandal number 47, Lindsay's parents are still yapping it up to the press (Lindsay's father, Michael, appeared on Larry King Live tonight). If Lindsay weren't an adult, I would call CPS.