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Thursday, July 17, 2008
4:43 PM



Throughout her short career (or maybe it's now considered lengthy by contemporary standards) Ashanti has relied on a bevy of gimmicks to get ahead. Sex, however, has never really been one of them. About a week or so ago, I saw stills of Ashanti from the set of "Body On Me." I noticed that for the first time, she was starting to show a little ass.

Thick track thighs can only get so far when inflation is the highest in 17 years. Ashanti needs gas money, too, ya'll. Combine that with the fact that Ashanti's previous successes were largely rooted in her being in our faces every other second for two or three years non-stop, after that four year break ( intended or not), I can see why she's pulling out all the stops. Showing ass might be her only hope to buying back a seat back on the couch of relevance. Can't buy CDs the first week out like you used to.

Now on with the show.

I might get in trouble for this, but I kinda like the video. It looks like it cost $3 to make, but because of the treatment, it looks like it at least set her label back $5.69 (the same cost as the two grilled snack wraps, baked potato, and 1 order of chicken nuggets I copped from Wendy's earlier), so can she get a little credit for that? Or are you already laughing at me for trying to pay Ashanti a compliment in 2008? She's trying really hard.

The only thing I don't get about the video is the fact that a video for a song themed around having the ooh-wee cat trap has her channeling June Cleaver? If you're stuff is that good, why are you on the floor scrubbing floors? Shouldn't you be getting a pedicure while some underpaid maid does all the housework for you? Then again, I guess the point of being on your knees and dropping scuds on your skin is to entice someone to go buy your album. But unless Ashanti is offering an all-exclusive plane ticket into her vagina to some lucky album buyer, I don't see how that logic is going to help her move any units. Randomly screaming about it on the BET Awards won't help neefa.

But let me fall back before someone pushes me into that couch Ashanti fell in in the vide. I see her fans are getting their cyberthug on again.

The Cynical Ones.
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