While perusing my favorite message board, I came across the following:

"CELEBRITY PLATINUM CELEBRATION FOR THE QUEEN OF HIP HOP R&B KEYSHIA COLE"

Umm, Keyshia, as happy as you should be that your album has grown legs and finally gone platinum, I think it would behoove you to never, ever, ever, ever refer to yourself as the Queen of Hip Hop anything so long as Mary is physically strong enough to pull off that ill advised spare braid in her head and wax that ass.

"Queen of Hip Hop R&B" is wee bit too close to Mary's 15 year old title of "Queen of Hip Hop Soul." Now, Keyshia, I've seen you perform: The meows, missed notes, the hop, skips, and tumbles that recall Pentecostal services, and the "That n*gga ain't shit" screams. That's all Mary. Not to mention, I hear you miss scheduled interviews, talk to some fans like shit, and you have the nerve to walk around like your shit don't stank. You don't think Mary's aware of you looking at her old marketing plan?

Now, I realize you're from Oakland, so you probably got hands. But, Mary is Mary. You don't think someone that used to box w/ a crackhead can't take you out?


I see Mary or her new alter ego, Brooke (anyone with an alter ego is scary...Even Beyonce and her special friend, Sasha) finding you in a dark alley, and taking out all that aggression from the failure of Love & Life on you. She clowned Ashanti a few years ago for biting her style. What do you think will happen to you for biting her title?


It's good that you found love. Now it's time to find a bodyguard.