Spending the entire day to prep for an uber-formal award show to receive the highly-coveted award for Best Actress and what is the first thing you go and do once the show is a wrap? Stuff your face with something actresses decades your junior would only eat if they were in the close proximity of a toilet bowl? Now that is class and if I didn’t like Helen Mirren before, I love her now!

In any event, I’m not doing a full recap of the Oscars. This is the first time I’ve ever watched this show in its entirety. I did not fall asleep. As braggadocios as this may seem, I am incredibly proud of myself for that alone, so I needn't give anything else.

I keed.

Here are some of my favorite moments from the real show (according to E! anyway): the red carpet.

In accepting her award, Jennifer Hudson told the audience, “Look what God can do.” I’d like to point out what Hanna-Barbara, Oscar de la Renta, and a queen with major fashion faux pas on the brain can do.

I don’t know whether I want to ask Jennifer where’s Elroy Jetson or to heat up my Hotpocket.

I really like Anika Noni Rose. She’s so bubbly, cute, and short. Minus the ones that suffer from Napoleon complex, I love short people. However, I can’t help but notice that Anika looks like she ought to be spending the nite in a club spinning atop the ceiling as Rick James explodes from the speakers. But, she’s short and adorable, so, eh, turn up “Superfreak.”

No, she is not whispering in her ear, “I’ll trade you Kelly for one night with the Oscar.” I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe that Beyonce is genuinely happy for someone else. Of course, she likely is just a tid bit salty that she missed out on a Vogue cover and Academy Award, but I’m inclined to think she’ll still go on to have the better career --- and that includes film.

Yeah, I said it.

I just wanted to show another picture of Beyonce. I think she looks amazing in that dress. H-Town, Stay Down.

Finally, congrats to Jennifer and Forrest! The industry may not be changing overnight, but baby steps have been made. Don’t believe me? Forrest thanked his wife, Keisha! An Academy Award winning actor has a wife named Keisha! A normal name (well to me anyway)! Now tell me that ain’t progress!

How great was it to see so many black actors nominated for Academy Awards? How great is it to see some actually win?

Memo to Jesse: While I agree with you that there needs to be more black representation in Hollywood, we need to raise our standards. Two Can Play That Came, Norbit, and ATL aren’t going to wow the Academy.