After all these years, the closest Ray-J has gotten to escaping the shadow of his sister Brandy is a three-year-old sex tape with a celebrity-lusting ‘socialite’ with the personality of a blow up doll.

As you can see from the cover, Ray-J doesn’t plan to let that dabble in sexual voyeurism go
anytime soon. That makes him an even bigger lame than I ever gave him credit for. I suppose the adage, ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,’ applies, but all and all, it says a lot about you and your talent if a sex tape is your only legitimate shot at maintaining relevance.

I’m no fan of porn, so I’ve been reluctant to watch the much buzzed about sexual escapades of Brandy’s little brother and one of O.J. Simpson’s old defense lawyer’s offspring caught on tape. I think we’ve all noticed the wonders the tape has done for Kim Kardashian’s career. Though she claims to be “horrified” and “completely embarrassed” by the tape, she pocketed a cool million from the whole deal, which helped cover the cost of the butt injections needed to land herself the cover of King magazine --- taking her goal of bedding every black male celebrity on the D-List to new and greater heights.

She’s also managed to score a reality show for her and her family, proving to America that attention whores are created, not born. With her little sisters skipping homework to practice swinging around the stripper pole in their home, and her mother latching herself onto to her celebrity – going as far as proposing a mother/daughter nude pictorial in Playboy – I understand where Kim gets it from. Sex sells…obviously.

It hasn’t done so much for Ray-J yet, hence the cover for his mix tape. The mix tape not-so-coincidently is being released just in time for the re-release of the infamous sex tape, complete with 60 minutes of additional “bonus footage.” To all of you out there that believe these two planned this whole thing out, shame on you. It’s such an invasion of privacy, why would they do it? Because no one cares about them, thus the only way those two could ever entice interest from the general public is to play off America’s obsession with pornography? Noooo, that couldn’t be it. Ray-J comes from a religious background and Kim, well her father represented O.J. Simpson: it’s clear these two come from two high moral backgrounds.

Last week I finally watched this nude publicity stunt, and that’s ten minutes of my life I’ll never get back. I only watched for ten, because I quickly became bored out of my mind. This is what people have been talking about? Kim just lying there, cooing like Malibu Barbie come to life while Ray-J “ironically” keeps looking at the camera, saying both of their names over and over again, surely hoping that this tape is never ever released to the public.

I’ve been more turned on by Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy discussing geriatric sex. That tape is yet another reminder of why Ray-J hasn’t been entertaining since The Sinbad Show. It’s a shame that anything remotely distasteful, desperate, and pathetic can be rewarded in this country no matter how boring it is so long as it includes crotch shots. May fate screw these two better than they screwed each other.

Labels: loser bitches