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Monday, April 28, 2008
1:26 PM

Am I Alone?


Disclaimer: If four-letter-words and graphic details are unsettling to you, scroll away from this post. I’m a bit more blunt than usual. Smile.

I’m beginning to feel like the old man who yells out at kids on his porch, “You lil’ knuckle heads don’t know nuffin’ ‘bout no good music.” That’s a problem at barely 24, no?

When I’m not complaining about how awful music is sounding, I’m throwing jeers at how ridiculously the pseudo artists behind them are looking. I sound like a T-Pain hook, but I can't help it.

I understand that sex sells and when it comes to pop music, putting everything on full display boosts chances of success. In the past, that never bothered me as much as it did other people. I am no prude by any means (trust me), but the more I look at the stripper-like singers and how increasingly younger they’re starting to spread ‘em, even I’m becoming a bit unnerved.

Like I said, I tend not to mind slutty artists, but the fact that I can tell this under 21 piss-colored hair minor waxes her snatch (that's clearly on display) when I know her music is probably geared towards people who still wait for a bell to go to lunch kind of bothers me. Whatever middle-aged man and/or ex-Band member turned A&R rep that never got any until he got credentials should be ashamed of themselves for this overly-sexual contrived image made for these girls.

No one is telling this fame-hungry minor that with all that makeup and ugly weave, she's going to be baldheaded and looking 40 at 30. Not to mention broke as I can’t imagine a member of a group formed on a television network really making any significant amount of money even if they do manage to go platinum. Ask Danity Kane.

Believe me: I’m not running around listening to “Stomp” throwing holy salt on the CD aisles at Target. I honestly don’t mind sexually charged anything, but it just bothers me when it doesn't feel like the person owns it. These girls just seem to be doing as they're told. I miss the good ole days when Madonna and Janet were their own whores. (That’s said in jest, stans: Don’t go trying to e-got me.)

In the recording industry must every Black girl be forced to morph into an off brand version of Malibu Beyonce with the sexual energy of Karrine Steffans at the NBA draft while their white counterpart transform into some big tit blond? Meanwhile Rick Ross is supposed to be the object of sexual desire because the police haven't caught him yet. It just seems wrong and I'm a man.

And what the hell is sexy hair? Someone explain that concept to me. Does it came in a pack from Kim’s Beauty Supply or does it have to be custom-ordered from India? I’m lost.

Okay, let me go put my teeth in and step out of my soapbox before I break a hip. PopsCynic has said enough.

All dese dick swallowing, nut bucket ass hoes walking around like dey supposed to get all the praise! Got young girls thinking its cool to be fake and fuck and suck niggas to be respected.

Khia hears me, though. Now if only I were as eloquent. One day.

The Cynical Ones.
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