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Tuesday, June 10, 2008
3:55 PM

Maybe This Isn't Love


I thought I could resist the urge to comment on Usher’s millionth + one statement about marriage and fidelity, but I can’t. I love when celebrities instruct you to leave something alone as they continue to address it again and again…and again.

This time Cosmo is the lucky pub being entertained with the poster child of melodrama’s musings on being hitched and being faithful.

And while Usher insists marriage and commitment have changed his life for the better, he admits monogamy doesn't come naturally to him - and he has to fight his wandering eye.

The star tells Cosmopolitan magazine: "I'm good at making love, but I'm not good at being in love. It's a conscious decision every day to love the person you're with."

If you have to force yourself to love someone everyday, you don’t love them that much. That’s one of the dumbest comments I’ve ever read and to be a newlywed, you would think he’d be a bit more chipper about the lovey dovey aspects of being legally bound to another person.

Why doesn’t he just come out and say, “Y’know, for the longest I thought the only person I could ever really love was myself, but I’m trying – yeah, man!” and leave it at that.

When he’s not talking about how happy he is to be married, he’s talking about how difficult it is to be married. I understand that everything isn’t black and white, but c’mon nah. He’s on some back, back, forth and forth thing with this.

This is a problem I have with people who get married because “you’re supposed to.” You know, when you reach a certain age or a certain amount of unwed children, you think to yourself, “Well I might as well do it.” It reaps of force, and since self-involvement is a running theme in our society, that’s not going to lead to a lasting relationship. All you do is invite misery and pass on your problems onto your children. Believe me.

Not to mention he seems to look at marriage as a get-out-of-being-a-jackass pass. Being in a relationship or even having strong feelings for a person can change you to a degree. But if you’re not together before you enter a union, well…

I have a different concept of love than Usher does.

To me love is sitting down and forcing yourself to like a Rihanna ballad and re-evaluating your original thoughts that she sounds like a Billy Goat. Or listening to a certain song that reminds you of the time when you acted like a nervous lame because that person had you shook. Or being excited about getting a drunk dial at 4 a.m. because you love talking to that person no matter what time it is (you’re actually happy they thought of you). Or risk being hit with a lightning bolt because it’s been a while since you kneeled to pray, but you do it because you care. Or making a complete idiot out of yourself several times over in an attempt to show your feelings are as real as the list of Superhead’s sexual partners is long. Or taking a good long look at yourself, and realizing that you’re crazy and you should really work on that. Or trying to be the best friend you can be because if nothing else, maintaining a friendship is important to you. Or knowing even if you can’t have them, you want them to be happy (though you will hate on whoever they end up with like they once gave you the burn). Or saying all of this mushy shit as you maintain that you are no punk ass bitch.

Those to me are examples of love, not bitching to the press everyday because they don’t co-sign your marriage…as if you needed your personal decisions to be validated by the media anyway.

But hey, what do I know, I’m emotionally bowlegged (crippled is just too cruel a term).

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at