Do you know what it's like to love someone so much that you turn a blind eye to their transgressions? When you have such strong feelings for them that you only leave enough room to reflect on their positive qualities, forgoing any negative thoughts that might tarnish the divine image of your beloved? I'm sure you can recall, but try not to in this instance because, unfortunately, none of this applies to Mariah Carey today.

I like Mariah Carey, I really do, butterflies, rainbows, and Sweet Valley High-like way of songwriting and all, but Mimi refuses to end her futile attempt at becoming a sex symbol.

Mariah, you are very pretty, but you can't force audiences to see you as a sex symbol the same way you couldn't force them to see Glitter. Your attempts aren't the least bit convincing and after ten years of trying to become contemporary music's answer to Marilyn Monroe, aren't you tired?

Put on a robe, sing a song, and let it go.

Spotted @ DListed!

* By the way: Do me a favor and don't send this to any Mariah Carey-related site or message board. I'm not trying to get e-got.