Need help school shopping? Paris Hilton has debuted a new fashion line for young girls at Kitson in Los Angeles. I know what you're thinking: Of course you want impressionable young girls dressing like Paris Hilton. She's been such an exception role model for women everywhere. She's a pioneer in the celebrity sex tape industry. She's encouraged women everywhere to work through her empowering reality show, The Simple Life. And most recently, she's enlightened the world to the injustices of our current legal system through her brief but memorable stint in time out/jail.

I can't wait to hear eight-year-old girls across the country tell me what's hot, what club they're hitting up during recess, and their shocking horror stories about their first DUI behind the big wheel.

These girls aren't going to be in the running to become the newest Pussycat Doll if they don't learn the basics early.