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Monday, July 28, 2008
3:06 AM


Feihanna

 



I once wrote that Rihanna’s “new me” basically translated into trading in Beyonce’s old tracks in favor of Fefe Dobson’s clothes and Pat Benatar’s old wig. I can admit when I’m wrong, though. Rihanna actually only stole Fefe Dobson’s hair, too!

Yes Rihanna’s fly, indeed she has stepped her goat vocals up, and of course right now she is that chick – but that chick is a swagger jacker to the core. I could live without the ten minute tribute to Pink, but I suppose the person behind the video wanted to kill two birds with one stone. Either way it’s kind of hard now for the Rihanna stans willing to start problems at INS on her behalf to continue denying that Rihanna didn’t take a field trip to Fefe Dobson’s closet before she dropped Good Girl Gone Bad.

I guess this is akin to Beyonce initially modeling herself after J.Lo when she finally found a solo hit. Only difference is Jennifer Lopez isn’t working the late shift at Walmart blacking out Rihanna’s face with a magic marker in the electronics department out of spite.

If this video circulated a couple of months ago, I would have used it as proof that Rihanna needs her green card revoked and be placed on a boat back to Barbados. But after getting used to her I don’t really care anymore. I already knew her image was as natural as Brandy's hairline and I didn’t need this video to know that. Still, for Rihanna’s sake I hope she’s never backed into a corner with Teairra Mari and Fefe. I would be hella pissed if my likeness was taken and molded into a commodity for someone else while I sat around debating whether I should finish cleaning up aisle 6 or start begging to join the cast of Dancing with the Stars.

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at