<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d13627209\x26blogName\x3dThe+Cynical+Ones\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://thecynicalones.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://thecynicalones.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-4590904552691322950', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
About Me

Writer. Music head. Political junkie. Pop culture whore. Funny black boy. Looking to have a voice in the world -- with a few good sponsors.

View My Complete Profile


Find Me Here:

The Recession Diaries

The Spin

Stay Tuned

Twitter


The Roll

1016

Aliya King

All That I Am: A Diary of My Randymethoughts Pt. II

Amerika's Muse

Bark + Bite

Basement Elevation

Bomani Jones

Bossip

Brooklyn Sista

Clay Cane

Concrete Loop

crunk and disorderly

Dope Penmanship

Fly Cliches

Four Four

GangStarrGirl

Got Sole?

Hot 2 Def Inc.

Incommunicado

Just Another Girl on the IRT

Me, Myself An Eye

Middlechild Promotions

Mz. Virgo

Necole Bitchie

Negrita Linda

One Boy Revolution

Oo Itz Santo

Queen of the Non Sequiturs

Queen To Be

Rhymes With Snitch

Soulbounce

Straight From The A

Thank God I'm Famous

That Grape Juice

The Fury

The Real 7

The search for RELLevance

Think2wice

Toya's World



Previous Posts

Gutta Love...In Video Form
Official Girl
Give Him The Night Light
Boom Boom Plaque
Sho'Nuff Dead
Down and Out
Mama Mia
Why Are You Rich?
Maybe
Help Me Help

archives

May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009


Add to Technorati Favorites

Site Meter

free page hit
counter

Monday, August 25, 2008
12:07 PM


Jury Duty

 



That video is dedicated to everyone responsible for me having to finally go to jury duty on Friday. Once a friend told me that her sister opted not to register to vote because she said she didn’t want to go to jury duty. When she told me that, I thought that was the most trifling rationale to use. I still think it’s trifling, but the second I walked into that big boring room I envied the life of an illegal immigrant.

Sitting in a room for three hours waiting for a juror instructional video in Vietnamese is not the way to spend a day. I spent most of that time saying silent prayers that I will get out of this over-air conditioned room and back home by noon. No such luck. They needed everyone that day. This is what I get for dodging a summons since January. What? Don’t judge me.

On the way to the courtroom the bailiff instructed us to be “enthusiastic” once the judge addresses us. He told us she liked cheering. My first reaction was, “The hell? What is she a cheerleader for Team Justice?” And once we got in the courtroom, she definitely told us she needed more enthusiasm. I’m sure with her salary she can afford to be cheerful. Six dollars for a day’s worth of boring doesn’t make me smile, though.

Once I was selected for a jury pool, I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out how to not be selected for this jury. I soon learned so was everyone else. The case I was in the jury pool for centered on two men who allegedly kicked, punched, and stabbed someone (or people, I’ve started to try and block this day out so details are becoming sketchy) during a robbery. For a minute, because they were both young, I thought they were going to try and pick me.

Thankfully, when the judge asked if anyone would object to giving them probation should they be convicted, I saw my way out. I rose my hand to say considering the crime and my own personal experiences, I couldn’t serve in a trial where probation was an option.

Finally, getting jacked at gunpoint has provided a positive!

Soon everyone else followed with their own excuses as to why their names should be crossed off the list and be left the hell alone. My favorite jury dodger was the girl who objected to everything the judge, the DA, and the defense attorneys said. I think her name was Aura, or something made up like that.

She said based on what happened to her auntie she hates cops, the justice system, and vowed that she would never convict anyone. Once one of the defense attorneys got to her, she added that when it comes to justice, she leaves everything to God. Genius. I bet she made a list of things to say before she came.

The unprepared people who can’t think on their feet weren’t as lucky. Most of them, with their dumb ass questions and comments and kept prolonging the process. I didn’t end up leaving until after 2. I arrived at 8:00 a.m.

1 in 4 people in my city are foreign born. You couldn’t tell by the jury pool I was in. Some jury of your peers. At the end they asked if any of us wanted to donate all or a portion of our huge $6.00 check to charity. I think I and someone else were the only 2 out of 65 to do such a thing.

I so wanted to yell, “You cheap rich bastards, ya’ll should all be donating your checks to me because I know ya’ll got money,” but it wasn’t worth it. I was just happy to not have to look at any of those people ever again in my entire life.

OK, so I won’t completely bore you, here are a couple of observations:

1. People still wear mullets. I see it sometimes on TV or film as a joke, but normal people actually still walk around looking like 1982. It’s sad.

2. And the jheri curl, damn, why won’t you die? This poor woman I saw – I bet her couch hates her.

3. I feel really sorry for all of the women walking around with about as much hair as a My Little Pony doll trying to rock a ponytail.

4. One of the defense attorneys was one of the hairiest, freckled-face blondes I had ever seen in my life. His eyelashes looked like they needed a comb. I started to ask him where Dorothy and the Oz crew were.

5. An Alabama accent seems harder to shake than a herpes outbreak.

And if nothing else now I know that in the future, should I get a jury summons I may want to check off ‘student’ to get an exemption. I can tell myself I’m a student of life. That or bring some kids like one woman who purposely showed up two hours late.

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at