<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d13627209\x26blogName\x3dThe+Cynical+Ones\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://thecynicalones.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://thecynicalones.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-4590904552691322950', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
About Me

Writer. Music head. Political junkie. Pop culture whore. Funny black boy. Looking to have a voice in the world -- with a few good sponsors.

View My Complete Profile


Find Me Here:

The Recession Diaries

The Spin

Stay Tuned

Twitter


The Roll

1016

Aliya King

All That I Am: A Diary of My Randymethoughts Pt. II

Amerika's Muse

Bark + Bite

Basement Elevation

Bomani Jones

Bossip

Brooklyn Sista

Clay Cane

Concrete Loop

crunk and disorderly

Dope Penmanship

Fly Cliches

Four Four

GangStarrGirl

Got Sole?

Hot 2 Def Inc.

Incommunicado

Just Another Girl on the IRT

Me, Myself An Eye

Middlechild Promotions

Mz. Virgo

Necole Bitchie

Negrita Linda

One Boy Revolution

Oo Itz Santo

Queen of the Non Sequiturs

Queen To Be

Rhymes With Snitch

Soulbounce

Straight From The A

Thank God I'm Famous

That Grape Juice

The Fury

The Real 7

The search for RELLevance

Think2wice

Toya's World



Previous Posts

Give A Chick A Video Budget
I'll Never Doubt You Again
You Remind Me
To You
Ya'll Ready?
I Encourage Comments (No Really, I Do!)
Help Me: Aubrey
Silent Tears
Rejoice & Be Glad
Why They're Losing

archives

May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009


Add to Technorati Favorites

Site Meter

free page hit
counter

Tuesday, November 18, 2008
12:36 PM


Happy B'Day

 


Merry B'Day, people. I tried to explain to some people that today is a holiday, but a few of them (only a few -- game recognize game, for the most part) gave me the side eye. I told them they were acting like Solange. Don't be petty, ya'll. Bask in the moment.

Today is the day we honor the Queen by giving her our money. If you say to yourself, "That b-tch is already rich!" you are a hater, pimp. Maybe that excuse works for everyone else, but not Beyonce. Why? Well there are some things in life we just can't explain. Other things have no real explanation -- a person simply makes some shit up and pretend it makes all the sense in the world.

I don't care which one you choose to believe as long as you go buy her album. I would suggest the double disc version. I'm more of a fan of Sasha. She seems like the type that will get drunk and show the stripper how to really work the pole. And when she eats Popeyes, she won't feel bad about it. These days the other one seems like she's currently eating a lettuce flatbread sandwich listening to Sheryl Crow.

Now should you choose not to buy her album and actually tell me you downloaded it without throwing $9.99 - $13.99 (get it on sale, folks) to the crown, I'm reporting you to the RIAA. My friend made that mistake last night. She ought to be getting a little notice soon. Don't do Bee.

If you're reading this and thinking to yourself, I sound Yolanda Saldavar-ish, you're not being fair. I would never take a job from Kelly Rowland. She needs all the work she can get these days. It's merely that Beyonce has been so good to us, we ought to return the favor.

Janet's got major headaches, and judging from her last couple of albums, a serious ear injection. Ciara or Super C seems to be having both an identity crisis and a case of wackitis. Rihanna is pretty, but she doesn't have the thighs of power like Beyonce. And Mya, well see the previous post. I would name other people if it were still 1998, but it's not so why bother.

Beyonce is the best we have. Enjoy her now before has Jigga's little Kool cigarettes and spreads like Chaka Khan. So if the mood strikes you to dance in the street, the sidewalk, the gym, or Target, go with it. I do that all the time.

P.S. A friend just recommended I do a rendition to "Single Ladies" and post it on YouTube. I would rather let my balls play in the California wildfires than do some shit like that. I celebrate with a receipt, a biscuit, and a jig.

Labels:


The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at