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Friday, January 09, 2009
1:51 AM

Do Yo Dance


It's a shame that Aubrey's career is officially on death watch now. As of yesterday, this fun animation was brought into my life, and naturally, I've fallen in love. I have a special affinity for people who can drop it. I myself have been known to get low on occasion. I believe my favorite moment doing so was at an ATM station in the Village somewhere around 3 in the morning. I gave it to the ATM machine and the random people walking by watching me seem to enjoy it as well. To be honest, it wasn't even my best, but it doesn't matter. It was so much fun. Ahh, the good ole days with the Queen to Be.

I figured somehow, someway, Puff Puff Diddy and MTV would find some way to salvage Danity Kane or at the very least, think of a clever way to milk another season out of all five girls. Apparently that's not going to happen. Aubrey is about to do Playboy, which means the next step for her is trying to land another reality show that likely won't be anywhere near as entertaining as Making The Band.

That is, unless she does plenty of dancing like that. That I can get with. In fact, I'd love to find her at a club. I've never danced with a white girl that can get low like that and stay there for a good second. I'm an equal opportunity twirker. That seems like something Barack Obama would appreciate, right?

I was talking to my friend, Brittany, and she feels after a certain age you should nix sweeping in public. I can understand that point-of-view, but I'm down for doing it as long as I physically can. I haven't really been dancing like I used to. I was beginning to think I had lost it. Thankfully, I caught up with an old friend who was visiting for Christmas. She and I danced a lot, and I was back to using the rail as some sort of pole. I still have it. I only need to work on preserving it. It would probably be in my best interest: You never know where this recession will lead you.

Perhaps that's why Aubrey's doing Playboy. Ha, who am I kidding. She's an attention whore and a freak. She would likely do it even if she already had millions in the bank. Too bad she didn't have a real friend. She was such a cute girl when the group originally formed. Now she looks like she's in an abusive relationship with coke and Grey Goose.

Here's to hoping whatever she ends up doing, she gets her face and body back together. If she were to get all of that together and still drop it like that, I'm sure she can squeeze another 60 seconds out of her fifteen minutes of fame and get a show. She should bring D. Woods along if she does. Oh and this woman:

I don't know who she is, but she is a TV star in the making. Look at her: She's showing those boys no love. I'd watch her. Maybe they can get that Asian chick from Soul Train, too. And if the show gets good ratings, maybe I'll show up for an episode. Must see TV, ya'll!

The Cynical Ones.
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