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Thursday, June 25, 2009
12:59 PM

Selling Sex & Fries


In nasty bastard news, a special shout out goes to the perverse mind who came up with this ad. As if Burger King hasn't gotten disgusting enough over the years, now when you think of meals at Burger King the phrase "semen snack" will pop into your brain.

I'm not being a prude; rather, just a person who can appreciate a clever ad when I spot one. That ain't it (c) Johnta Austin.

Like a desperate R&B singer clinging to her cooch to move units in lieu of wack material (more on that later), Burger King has opted to take the "sex sells" approach to selling food that has come to look about as appeasing as the inside of a can of Alpo. My stance on this is no different: It reads as desperate, and thus more off putting. It doesn't help the sandwich looks like a recipe for heart failure.

I used to love Burger King. Their onion rings were great, and when I ate beef, I thought the Whooper was a good alternative when one couldn't find a Wendy's or was sick of eating McDonald's. And their chicken nuggets - before they became anorexic - were good eating (as far as fast food goes). Same for their chicken whooper.

There's a Burger King around the corner from me. I don't really eat fast food as much anymore, so while Burger King has become somewhat of the Ross and Marshalls of fast food chains in terms of pricing, I do not want. If this ad was supposed to change my mind, marketing plan fail.

Maybe if they promise to give me a free kiddie crown from the old days I might be convinced to step back in time and engage them. If not, my heart will pass.

But it's not just BK jumping in on the sexy food angle to fatten us up.

Really, Quinzos? Y'know, I prefer them over Subway, but this is stupid, too. OK, let me stop sounding so self-righteous. This ad actually made me laugh a little, but I wanted to try these torpedoes anyway. If this ad runs late at night, then I suppose it's fine. But if this runs during the day time when kids are home, that's a negative.

Just last night I was tweeting about loving Kut Klose's "I Like" since I was 9-years-old. Why was I listening that at 9? Granted, I'm no superfreak, but you get what I'm saying.

I'll even give Burger King the benefit of the doubt and say if the poster were only hung in strip clubs or somewhere where not too many Happy Meal eaters could see it maybe I'm inclined to be less critical.

Ya'll let me know. Am I being a prude or am I being fair for not wanting my meals with a side of Trojan?

The Cynical Ones.
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