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Wednesday, June 17, 2009
4:18 AM

Pop Five


I can't dedicate a diatribe to all of this foolishness going on as it would kill more braincells than Cash Money's Greatest Hits, so I've decided to take "The Week In 10," divide it by two and square the sarcasm in a single post.

1. Bow Wow Treating Chris Brown's Jock as His Personal Swing

When I saw that video of Chris Brown declaring that he's not a monster, the only thing more irritating than his lack of remorse was Bow Wow chiming in with "believe that."

Never one to know when to leave well enough alone, Shad elaborated on why he's head cheerleader for Team Brown.
"Chris is my best friend, that’s my little dude. I hold him down. I think the media, when they took hold of it being that was the first time they just seen him and made a whirl wind. The business is business, [his case] don’t faze me. Friendships and best friends means more to me. So if he want me to be there for him, I’ll be there. I don’t really know Rihanna.”
Dear Bow Wow:

Tell me what that thang smell like. (c) Black Jesus

Just curious because you're treating Chris Brown's sac like it should be sold in Bed Bath & Beyond.



2. When Bad Hairstyles Happen To Big Heads

Rihanna is a very pretty girl, but is she one of those black chicks who don't have enough black friends around to point out when she needs a touch up or something? I'm a dude and even I know the back of her head shouldn't look that way.

I realized talking about a Black woman's hair can get you cut as evidenced by me telling one girl that her hairstyle reminded me of Michael Jackson circa the Bad era and in turn being on the receiving end of the clap back from two females. However, I'm just looking out for Rih-Rih.

Same goes for La-La. This actually looks better than Cassie's cut, but I can't believe all of these people raving about how "daring" LaLa is and how the "average chick" wouldn't do it. That's because the average chick doesn't have a multi-millionaire for a baby daddy. If every woman could try silly hairstyles from the 80s then have some weave fresh off the head of a hungry girl in a Third World country shipped over in a day just in case they look crazy I'm sure more would rock the Cassiela cut, too.

I may not know all of the intricate details about a Black woman's head, but I know bad hair. Remember I am the fool that let a Korean jack up my hairline.

3. Baby Ben Vereen Breaks Free

May 27, 2008
Uploaded by 2008co2008. - Explore more family videos.

You were saying, Usher?

I don't take any joy in this. I feel bad for their two kids. While it's good that they won't have to be raised in a house by two people who can't stand each other, they're very young so it's still quite unfortunate.

I will say this, though: Though Tameka doesn't seem as mean as people let on if you go by her tweets, she still strikes me as the type you don't want to piss off. Have fun with that divorce settlement, Ursha.

4. Sarah Palin Still Pissing People Off

David Letterman's joke was in poor taste, but Sarah Palin is a media whore who pimped out her children to push some moral agenda she nor members of her family lived by. You want privacy for your family yet your teenage daughter who just had a baby is on the cover of People magazine.

I'm tired of this moose killer and her us vs. them style of campaigning (which is what she's doing with these Letterman tirades). Isn't she supposed to be back in Alaska blowing kisses to Putin from an iceberg? Her 15 minutes have been up.

5. Nivea Starts E-Beef

Via her alter ego's MySpace:

Mood: betrayed

Wanting everyone to know that Shanell (the background slut that sings with lil wayne) is a piece of trash and not to be respected! she smiled in my face all whi –

First, no one uses MySpace like that anymore. Get on Twitter.

Two, why do you have an alter ego? That's so 2008. Make it stop.

Three, Lil' Wayne is on a song talking about his desires to fuck every girl in the world. He seems to be staying true to his word as he's on pace to knock up half the population. Why would you think he would be loyal to you?

He had a kid by some Asian baby and apparently has both Lauren London and Nivea calling up Wayne to say, "You are the father."

Yet instead of being mad at Wayne, she's pissed about a background singer possibly getting it in with an obvious womanizer.

Someone pass along this video to each of these women:

Afterwards we can start a prayer circle and ask God to give each of them a clue.

Do you see why I had to condense all of this nonsense into one post?

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at