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Thursday, June 14, 2007
12:11 PM

No Wonder We Can't Win In Iraq


Much praise goes out to the BBC for leaking what is possibly the most hilarious (in the saddest of ways) stories about our U.S. military in quite some time.

According to the article, in 1994, the U.S. Defense Department considered a number of proposals from the U.S. Air Force involving the use of various non-lethal chemicals intended to disrupt enemy discipline and moral.

One of these chemicals included what is known as the "love bomb," an aphrodisiac chemical that would provoke "widespread homosexual behavior among troops," causing what the military called a "distasteful but completely non-lethal blow to morale."

The Air Force sought Pentagon funding for research that they referred to as "harassing, annoying, and bad-guy identifying chemicals."

It's official: You lose your damn mind if you stay in the air too long. This definitely doesn't help that stereotype about pilots being drunks.

I'm not an advocate for chemical and biological warfare, but I will say that some people are a lot more serious about it than others. A magic homosexuality-inducing potion vs. anthrax. Which one do you think is going to be more effective?

It all sounds like some really bad cartoon episode plot. Maybe the military can also come up with a way to get the Cobra clan from G.I. Joe to join in the fight?

Or maybe they'll play the extended mix to "Get Me Bodied" for an even bigger distraction after this gay spray kicks in.

Right about now I'm more inclined to trust someone who used to be really good at playing "Duckhunt" to protect me than any idiot at the Pentagon that proposed and supported this plan.

I'm not even sure how would they know if they soldiers actually did "turn gay?" Don't ask, don't tell, remember!

By the way, geniuses running the Pentagon: By using a chemical to "make people gay," you're indirectly confirming that being a homosexual is not a choice versus something chemical or genetic, though only a while ago were some of your higher ranked officials calling it a mental condition.

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at