“I'll Be Loving U Long Time” is the only other song on the album besides the first single and bird-approved international bonus track “Heat” that I actually enjoy. Naturally, she’d ruin it by putting a rapper on it. I hate when artists brand something a “remix” with nothing new actually being mixed into the song other than a couple of forgettable bars.

Most Mariah Carey videos are no doubt intended to serve the sole purpose of appeasing Mariah’s vanity. See Malibu Mariah’s long flowing blond hair. See Mariah look pretty. See Mariah’s perfect poses. See Mariah’s body. Look at Mariah? Ain’t she sexy? This video continues that legacy. The only difference this time is that Mariah is on a beach, which is perfect for Mimi and her new slimmer figure – she gets to wear a bathing suit. That makes Mariah even sexier, right? I wouldn’t doubt that if Mimi had one too many glasses of wine during the shoot, she tried to get Flipper to acknowledge her sessy.

I do love the fact that despite her being stiffer than Chris Stokes backstage at America’s Best Dance Crew, Mariah will not stop dancing. Still, this video is dull, and I’m so sick of materialistic rhymes that equate love with the amount you spend on designer bags and expensive cars being interjected into love-themed songs. The next time someone bothers to try and spit such garbage in the “jungle,” “beach,” or green screen, may the set suddenly turn into Jurassic Park.