Though I personally wouldn't touch her body with Uncle Ben's dick, one can't ignore the sexual swagger of Aretha Franklin. She may not be my type, but I know there plenty of people out there who like them big and thick filled with Bisquick. I ain't mad at the chubby chasers who wouldn't mind spending a week searching for her Mufusa. I ain't mad.

Plus, I like Aretha's version of "Touch My Body." It says a lot when a woman who sounds like she can barely inhale besides gravy can out sing Mariah Carey on her own song. Still, let this video play over and over again in your mind until Sunday dinner.

Now somebody make me an MP3 of this and sent it on.