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Thursday, October 30, 2008
8:30 AM



Two seconds into Barack Obama’s infomercial I was bored out of my mind. Five minutes later I came to one conclusion: I can’t wait until this is over. Don’t get me wrong, it was well produced, but it reminds me of why I initially looked to him as the Mariah Carey of politics. That’s my mistake, though. He’s definitely not Mimi. All the overkill makes him more like Beyonce.

I LOVE politics, but this entire election has been draining. I cannot wait until the final ballot is cast and the results pour in. Frankly I’m tired of all of them. John McCain started getting on my nerves years ago when he started to take the place of Bush’s favorite horse, so his time has been up.

It didn’t take long for me to become equally annoyed by Sarah Palin and her 90 kids. That woman and her you betchas, doggone its, and overall bullshit are annoying. I have a feeling she’ll be back before you know it, so I want to enjoy my break from her while I can.

And last but not least, I’m tired of looking at Barack Obama, too. I never want to see his rhythm-deficient self try to dance again. It’s embarrassing to us lanky and slim (yet sessy) folks who can get it. Yes, he has delivered some incredible speeches, though I know I’m not alone in growing tired of hearing the same old talking points.

I’m tired of all four of them pretending to be regular people. I’m tired of all of their ads. I’m especially tired of getting emails every hour on the hour from the Obama people. It’s the political equivalent of a begging ass crackhead at the corner store.

Did anyone else watch this infomercial? Most of you probably didn’t have a choice. I don’t know about ya’ll, but it had nothing on the Proactiv infomercials if you ask me. I know the whole point of it was to convince nitwits that he’s not this big scary colored Muslim man that’s going to destroy America in the name of Allah and Fidel Castro, but where was the oomph?

When they were showing regular Americans struggling, they should have booked me. They could have watched me hit up editors for work, and put in time at the gym and the club as I train to become a stripper. A vote for Bush is a vote for channeling your inner Diamond.

Having said that, I still want ya’ll to vote for him to prove that it’s better to swagger jack Barney than Satan to win an election.

P.S. I was just kidding about the dancing. He can do a two-step at the inauguration…then stop forever.


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