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Thursday, January 22, 2009
4:55 AM

Go Back In Time


I'll never forget the first time I saw the promotional poster for Hardcore. My initial reaction was more of a question: Why did this chick have more weight in her bikini bottom than her top? Despite that mystery for the then inquisitive 12-year-old, I took to Lil' Kim. There's something about a person not afraid to be who they are no matter what people say that's so appealing.

Sometimes it's hard to remember how charismatic Lil' Kim was, how much stage presence she had, and how great a performer she used to be. It's even harder to remember how naturally beautiful she was now that she looks like the love child of Miss Swan and a switch blade. Kim can complain all she wants about Naturi's portrayal in Notorious, but that time would be much better spent in front of a mirror cursing herself out for all she's done to ruin her own legacy. Or she could flip herself off for actually wanting Christina Milian to portray her.

If only she had stuck with the plastic version of herself that Diana Ross found so titillating that she had to cop a feel on national television. Better yet, if only someone had told her that she didn't need to chop her face up with a Ginsu knife to begin with.

I stumbled along this clip a few weeks ago. How long did Rolanda's talk show last? Two weeks? Doesn't matter. Enjoy Lil' Kim when she actually looked like Lil' Kim and actually spit versus whatever she calls herself doing these days.

Sidenote: I hope the girl in this clip didn't grow up with two sets of twins with four different daddies.

The Cynical Ones.
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