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Monday, March 09, 2009
4:31 AM

The Devil Is An iPod


I was raised Catholic, and there were a lot of things I questioned about it and religion in general. Some times I got the feeling I was being told not to do something in order to appease God that I felt God wouldn’t care about one way or the other.

A good example of this is the call of some Catholic bishops in Rome to forgo text messaging and using iPods for Lent.

Forgive me, but what the hell? I get that there’s an argument to be made about the dangers of social networking, and I can even understand the symbolism in forgoing cell phones to protest the ongoing struggle in Congo over control of mines that contain material central to cell phone construction. But seriously, can’t the Pope just go down there and cause a ruckus?

Isn’t the Catholic Church large and powerful enough to protest in a way beyond symbolism? This all just seems hokey, and quite honestly, a waste of time.

I really don’t think Jesus would be moved if you honored him by turning off your iPod and not checking your email on Friday. The latter of which seems highly impractical.

I’m getting more and more confused. “Single Ladies” has become good for both the club and early service. “Damaged” is apparently now a gospel song. And now when you ask “What Would Jesus Do,” the answer is, “Turn off his iPod.”

This is almost as bad as Jerry Falwell declaring that Tinky Winky was destroying the innocence of small children with his purple murse. 

FYI, I’m not participating in any of this. I’ll have you know that just a week ago I started off my morning by getting on my knees to pray for my family and friends, then got up, turned on my iPod and did the stanky legg.

Judging from the way things are going, it won’t be long before Yolanda Adams starts making the booty do. 

The Cynical Ones.
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