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Thursday, June 04, 2009
3:28 AM

If I Were A Pub


Yet another reason why publicists need to join together and start a revolt against Twitter. It's making their jobs way too hard.

Judging from past interviews, I imagine the members of Icky Ricky wouldn't know media training if it knocked them upside the head with a lawsuit.

I have to admit, though, I would've never heard of their new single if not for Spectacular's stunt, so while he's obviously raised his profile I'm gonna assume overall this may have not been the best move for him.

Bless his uneducated heart for continuing to lead the "I ain't a gay, I just dance like one" campaign, but I wish someone would be kind enough to sit him down, speak slowly, and help him understand that he needs to turn the camera off for a second.

That or quit fighting the urge to pop back at those who thinks he pops his hips for dudes.

I'm not a publicist, but since I'm hearing that even some of my favorite writers have turned to "the dark side" because there ain't nothing going on but the rent, I thought to give this PR thing I try.

You know, just in case my readership stops growing and my profile gets this bitch slap down to the floor.

Now if I were a publicist designed to inform Spec about why channeling "T-Shirt and Panties" sans the t-shirt wasn't the best idea, I'd say:

1. You could dance around in overalls and flannel like the Brawny man and there's no way in hell you're ever going to erase the image of you dancing in red manties from people's minds. What's done is done.

2. I've come to learn that the only women that enjoy these videos are girls about three years removed from their first periods. If I were you, Spectacular Smith (Jesus and Human Resources wept), I wouldn't keep re-tweeting their messages. Doesn't sound like a rumor killer; seems more like a felony.

3. If you are a grown man challenging other men to a grind-off wearing Victor's Obvious, there's no sense in trying to accuse other people of being gay. If ye ain't gay, ye ain't gay. But trust me, homie, you're not going to win a competition of who can out stereotype who.

4. Sure you dance like a male stripper, but a lot of people stereotype male strippers and say they swing from trees versus digging in the sand. Is it right? Is it fair? Don't know, don't care, but in the future, understand you're not helping matters by saying "I'm just dancing like any male stripper." You might as well shoot your next video with a banana in your mouth.

5. And just so we're clear, unless there's a magical way for females to use their vagina's as a key, there's no way you can post a video online and say "ladies only" and expect only women to watch it. Not every man watching it may be gay, he may just want to laugh at your silly ass. Either way, it's redundant to say ladies only online.

I don't know 'bout ya'll, ut I think I could have a future in this.

The Cynical Ones.
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