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Wednesday, February 06, 2008
2:09 AM

Now I Know


I believe I may have mentioned my thoughts on Rihanna once or twice on this blog. Something about her sounding like a goat; my desire to throw her on a boat back to Barbados; criticism of her often lackadaisical performances; her Lolita-esque sexually charged image. You know…the little things.

Over the past few months, though, my venom has subsided. I suppose I should admit that that for some entries, that move was forced. There was just something about her that irked the hell out of me, and I wasn’t very good of masking that.

As time passed on, though, I’ve acknowledged that I enjoyed her last album. But, I think it’s time that I get over myself and say it:

This chick is bad. I mean, just…fly. Stunning. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Cold. I’m this close to conceding that Rihanna is indeed that chick. Yes, that includes Beyonce. I love Beyonce (although not as freakishly stantastic as Kelly does) but I have to admit Beyonce hasn’t looked herself lately. She looks tired, or maybe I’m tired of seeing her so much. Either way, I wouldn’t be mad if I walked on the street and saw a random chick bust a black girl with piss-colored hair upside the head with her umbrella.

Don’t get me wrong, some of the same things that bothered me about Rihanna still do.

She bends over more than a gay prostitute…and between that and the whip and chain themes of her performances, I still find that to be a bit much for a 19-year-old.

But who cares. Look at her. She’s dope. She’ll grow into her S&M getup, I guess. You don’t have to like everything about an artist if you’re a fan. I’ve advised Beyonce to wear a muzzle, called the suburbanite out for her hood obsessions, bashed her choice to make videos themed after the mentally unstable, and so forth. So yeah, some things bother me about Rihanna, but not enough to contain my new found fandom for her.

Her voice doesn’t bother me as much as it used to (sans “Unfaithful,” which still swagger jacks Billy Goat Gruff), and I’m almost tempted to help her study for her citizenship exam should she wish to become an American. I get that most of her success can be attributed to her image, but hey, look at her! If you’re going to make everything about how you look, then you better be on point and make it work. She is. It does.

Bow down.

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