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Thursday, April 03, 2008
5:02 PM

Git Fresh Can Get Bent


Disclaimer: I'm cursing these lames out below.

Thanks to groups like Deepside Git Fresh, I have even more reason to keep on pretending that it's 1995.

I don't mind vulgar lyrics, but I do hate corniness, and nothing screams corny more than an R&B group with a song called "Booty Music."

Does everyone want to be like that accused child molester and old man in the club, Pissy?

I realize that subtly is about as popular in contemporary R&B as going on stage lacefront-less or singing live, but with Pretty Ricky giving enough sexual overtones in their music to spur a visit to a free clinic after each listen, can't we do better?

I was on a message board and found this:

Other than the radio success of their ‘06 R. Kelly collabo Let’s Make Love, the R&B group formerly known as Deepside had been pretty quiet. Tired of the stagnancy, they’ve decided it was time for some changes; after changing their name to Git Fresh, the Miami quartet left their old label home of Jive for greener pasture at rival Def Jam. With all the drama behind them, Pretti Sly, Penny, Rude Boi and Mike Ezay take a moment to let everyone know that they’re not the type to play slow jams in the bedroom. Their preference, you ask? Some nice, banging Booty Music (the type provided by producer Bigg D). Def Jam has been an excellent distributor for R&B lately (Rihanna, Ne-Yo); will Git Fresh follow suit?

If you're afraid to click on the link based on the name alone, I don't blame you. If you don't want to listen yourself, let me recap the song for you: One sounds like Dream, another sounds like Akon, and they all sound like they borrowed T-Pain's vocoder as they each give their best R. Kelly impersonation.

I don't know how else to say it: Fuck them, fuck their producer, and fuck whoever uploaded this bullshit in the first place. I try to limit the amount of profanity on here, but I'm tired of all these two-stepping, Chipmunk sounding lames copying songs that should have never been hits in the first place.

And how many more robot songs does the world need? This shit sounds like it's made for a soundtrack to a Jetsons-themed porno.

I don't like to kill anyone's dreams, but groups like this give all these no-talent having bad ass kids hope that they, too, can ride the wave of wackasses with marginal talent becoming celebrities and grow up to get on all of our damn nerves.

The madness has to stop, but not until The Young Sinick Movement sells two million ringtones. Thanks to Kid Fury, I realize that I don't need Polow Da Don to go #1 -- I only need an Apple computer. Yahh Trick Yahh!

The Cynical Ones.
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