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Thursday, July 10, 2008
12:33 AM

Shouldn't She Be Hosting An After-School Special Instead?


If Jamie Lynn weren’t a natural blond and related to Britney Spears, me thinks she’d be called all types of whores instead of being celebrated in a national magazine. But she is so conventional wisdom dictates that the paler they are, the more likely they are to have their transgressions spun into positives.

In her cover story with OK! magazine, Jamie Lynn talks about her “perfect pregnancy,” her “perfect delivery,” and her desire to raise her child in the South. Apparently she would love to be a softball mom driving the kids around. Well, she’ll have all the time in the world to drive around Louisiana: Nickelodeon dropped her ass from their line up. That’s why she needed every cent of the “large payday” she got from the magazine. She’s certainly not going to get it from her fiancé, Casey Aldridge. Aldrige is reportedly a pipe layer from Liberty, Mississippi. Go figure.

On watching the father holding her child, the latest addition to a rising statistic said it "was the coolest thing. ... He was so happy, and that made me the happiest person alive."

Is it really? This week alone I saw two young girls that were pregnant. One was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and was about as tall as a fetus and looked like she just lost her last set of baby teeth. Yet there she was…pregnant. The other I saw today at the grocery store. She looked about 16 or 17 with a growing pouch crowding her behind the register. I wonder how cool they think it is. I wouldn’t doubt if at least one though so.

No matter color you are or your socioeconomic status, getting knocked up that young is not a good look. I sometimes want to walk down the street and pass out condoms. I know I sound like the old man on the stoop, but I’ve seen plenty of girls since middle school get pregnant. Some have gone on to finish college and what not, while others fell down and never got back up. The latter has been more common.

As for Jamie Lynn, it’s not as if I think she should go lock herself in a closet and wallow in self-pity, but does Britney Spears’ 17-year-old sister really need to be on the cover of OK! magazine glorifying teen pregnancy? She doesn’t help matters with talking about how “perfect” everything is. I’m sure teenage pregnancy is OK for the likes of Jamie Lynn or even Solange – they can leech off the wealth of their sisters. What about the other young girls they’re selling a dream to?

Considering the other women in her life, Jamie Lynn ought to be shook about motherhood. Britney proved to barely raise Kevin’s dick after awhile, let alone his kids. And we can all see how well their mother did.

The Cynical Ones.
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