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Wednesday, October 01, 2008
8:01 AM

College Is Gay


If you’re shocked at Soulja Boy sounding literate, you’re not alone. If you’re thrown for a loop but surprisingly impressed that he watched the presidential debate, call me Mr. Me Too. Yet before anyone else develops a complete newfound appreciation of Soulja Boy, pay attention to the video as he utters the phrase that won’t die in relation to something you would least expect.

Are we at the point now where college is considered gay? If so, time to add it to the growing list of homosessualities.

Things That Make You Ghey

1. Reading.
2. Writing complete sentences with words spelled correctly (dat shit iz crazy).
3. Using too many big words, like sarcastic (the synonym is bitch ass nigga) or any word that doesn’t go with “nigga” (What word doesn’t though?)
4. Wearing clothes that fit. (You too good to let your ass hang out?)
5. Listening to R&B. Or pop. Or country. Or rock. Or electronica (Note: tha fuc is that neway?).
6. Watching gay ass movies with white people (unless it’s Al Pacino or Steven Segal).
7. Emotions.
8. Not taking the Ike Turner approach to female relationships.
9. Not adding “no homo” to every phrase.

And as we’ve just learned, college.

In case you were wondering this hasn’t changed things that don’t make you gay.

1. Taking fashion cues from prison culture and copying a style that's essentially an inmate's version of come hither.
2. Hating women to the point where one has to wonder if your mother should have breastfeed you with your father’s dick.
3. Constantly telling another man to suck your dick.

4. Pictures like these.

It’s a shame a kid with the maturity level of a newborn makes an important decision to seek higher education to evolve and has to defend his choice as something that doesn’t suggests he’s gay -- as if there is any correlation between education and homosexuality.

Meanwhile I hear stories about all of the juvies a few years or crimes away from going to county worshipping the likes of Lil’ Wayne, Rick Ross, and Plies. Wayne studied psychology at the University of Houston, Office Ross spent sometime in school before becoming a CO, and Plies recently started a scholarship fund. Since none of them mention this often in their media kids, it’s no wonder they’re idolized for other characteristics (that are mainly figments of their imagination) as these kids struggle to write coherent sentences.

When I was growing up, when a bunch of dumb asses had something negative to say about those that wanted to get out the hood by taking the legal route of education, it was likened to being white. Now you’re being gay. Look how far we’ve come.


The Cynical Ones.
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