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Friday, October 31, 2008
4:42 PM

Where's My Muzzle?


As we sit on the cusp of history, instead of being able to revel in the moment and bask in knowing that on Tuesday this country may elect its first Black president, someone just had to go and remind us that there are some simple ass folks out there that need the black beaten off of them because they’re dragging the race down.

OK, so maybe it’s not that bad – but it’s close enough. Although I finally realized that he may actually have more brain activity than a stroke victim, I take back any comments that suggest that a barking dog doesn’t make more sense than Soulja Boy at any given ruff.

Clearly never learning anything beyond MySpace and Casio, here’s what the education-deficient sometime rapper, all the time dumb ass had to say when posed with a history question:

Then came Soulja Boy Tell Em. I asked him, “What historical figure do you most
hate?” He was stumped. I said, "Others have said Hitler, bin Laden, the slave
masters..." He said, "Oh wait! Hold up! Shout out to the slave masters! Without
them we'd still be in Africa."

My jaw, at this point, was on the ground.
"We wouldn't be here," he continued, having no idea how far in it he'd stepped,
"to get this ice and tattoos."

I know, I know. Me, too.

Damn those history books for not having a catchy hook and Kanye West for not creating a dance for “Diamonds from “Sierra Leone.”

It’s not enough that he talks like slavery ended a week ago and is bound to create a dance that requires only one foot; he had to go and shout out slavery. Who’s his father? Uncle Ruckus?

In some respects, I'm not sure why anyone would even ask Soulja Boy a question like that. You have to stick to questions he can understand. Like, "How many fingers is platinum?" or "What's your least favorite STD?" Maybe even something like "Do you eat cabbage?"

Anything besides something that would require actual thinking.

Even still, I can't believe that fool shouted out massa.

I know today is Halloween, but to me, there is nothing scarier than an a dense Black celebrity with the intellect of a long-time crack addict being allowed to speak to the media.

Let this ignorant, sophomoric embarrassment serve as a reminder of the importance of education…and swallowing.


The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at