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Friday, April 24, 2009
12:00 AM


Obsessed

 



OK, I'll be the first to admit that Beyonce's acting credits thus far don't suggest that she's well on her way to becoming the next Angela Bassett, but I don't find her to be the new Monica (have you seen Love Song) either.

Most people didn't see Cadillac Records (not that I blame you or anything) so I think people missed out on what to me was the first glimpse into Beyonce's potential as an actress. She did a very good job and earned herself a lot of accolade for her acting chops. Unfortunately, I get the feeling Obsessed is about to make many forget about all of the praise she enjoyed in the fall.

This movie looks like a recession version of Fatal Attraction. It seems so cheesey and really really bad. I'm not sure what type of bad yet. There are really awful movies that I love. The Last Dragon would be a prime example of such. It's one of my favorite movies ever. Sho'Nuff.

Then you have movies that are bad in a terrible way. Think films like Howard The Duck. While I still enjoy the theme song, the rest of the movie is a repressed memory that I hope never resurfaces.

No matter what category Obsessed ends up being placed in the fact that I'm bringing up these sort of films just goes to show how this is a downgrade for Beyonce. I like the fact that she's finally not playing a singer. I don't like the fact that it's this.

Listen to the way she says, "She ain't plain." Listen to the way she says, "I'll show you crazy." Can you tell the difference? Yeah, me either.

No need to worry about whether or not I'm going to see this. Of course I am. I'm planning to see it today. I may have not gone to see Cadillac Records in theaters, but in my stan defense, it's only because I found out Beyonce didn't appear in the movie until the end.

Do you know how much movies cost? Take the figure then square it since it's a movie I would have no interest in had Beyonce's name not have been attached to it. Too expensive in my book. This, not so much.

Is anyone else going to see it? Don't lie. You can tell me even if you're only going to see it to laugh at Beyonce. I'm hoping it turns out better than it looks. At the very least, I really hope Beyonce murks the mess out of Ali Carter Larter.

But after this movie hits DVD in three weeks I pray Beyonce starts reading other scripts. She needs something to really challenge her. Something like a fat crack head. I know, I know: crack heads aren't fat. That's why I said something challenging.

A drumstick in one hand and a rock in the other. C'mon Queen Bey, show me your range.

The Cynical Ones.
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