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Monday, July 13, 2009
12:00 AM

Don't Let Bey-3PO Give You Nightmares


Beyonce continues to bring out the inner jealous high school girl in grown men and women everywhere with her new video, "Sweet Dreams" (of a bigger budget).

As anything related to Beyonce typically is the reactions from folks across these internets have been mixed. The stans think the video was choreographed by God and directed by Moses while the haters use this video as further justification for why Beyonce needs to be burned at the stake and sent directly to hell (hell = life without a lacefront).

As a stan that still manages to dish out the spades when necessary, I think the video is cool. It's nothing groundbreaking, but not many things related to the Queen Bey are. Yes, it's rather cheap looking, but I think Beyonce makes up for it with her energy levels and the way she executes her choreography. She continues to improve as a dancer.

Give the girl credit: When Destiny's Child first made their way onto the scene it looked like Papa Knowles hired a paraplegic to teach them how to dance. After all these years Beyonce has blossomed into quite a decent dancer. She wouldn't make Janet flinch but if she worked at The Player's Club Diamond would be in the back sulking.

With that said I understand why some people may feel a little bored with Beyonce. Same weaves, similar twirks, and same essential set up from previous videos. Yet to make it seem like this was the worst video shot since Deion Sanders' "Must Be The Money" is a bit much.

You can't be mad that she's praised so much because everyone else by comparison is so terrible. That's not her problem. Can we at least agree on that? She didn't sign these "singers" who sound like they have Kermit the Frog subletting their throat. She isn't responsible for these pigeon toed girls who can't even execute the most basic two-step. It's not her fault everyone else sucks.

As I said, I actually can understand why some people are bored with her. I'd love a new hair color from her, a new tour stage set up, some music that showed some genuine evolution versus the same old thing with an adult contemporary beat. I get it. Beyonce needs to be challenged. Competition brings out the best in people. There's no one out there to threaten her place at the top. That's not her bad, though. You can pretend it's all on Papa Knowles, but that Negro is not Lucifer's sidekick. If he were Solange would be platinum right now.

Moving on, if you don't like the video, fine. But quit acting like Beyonce stole your man or your biscuit. And whatever girl you used to hate that she reminds you of, let it go. There's legitimate criticism and then there's talk that makes me question whether or not the girl owes you money -- which could very well be true since she gets sued every eight seconds.

Some of the comments I've read over the past couple of days make me worry as to whether or not I need to screencap some posts and forward to the FBI. It should never ever be that serious. Relax, relate, release.

Remember: Beyonce is just a singer....and the video is still decent besides being funded by the spare change in Beyonce's purse.

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at