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Tuesday, August 04, 2009
1:26 AM

I Wanna Know


1. What part of there will never be another Michael Jackson does this lil' 'Tussin-abusing critter monster and others not get?

2. And since only a week ago did Baby's lip masseuse call the Kang of Pop a fag, does that mean Weezy wants to meet Chris somewhere over the rainbow?

3. Are we really recording songs called "Whip It Like A Slave" now?

4. Since Aubrey's re-recording Eddie Murphy "classics" like "Party All The Time," is anyone down for running around with me in the clouds screaming, whatzupwitu?

5. Is it safe to call Kanye West a trendsetter now?

6. If you're Eminem, are you more jealous of Nick Cannon or Mariah Carey's hand?

7. Go three minutes in then tell me why do women like hip-hop again?

8. When is someone going to sit Shad down and explain to him that he's essentially the 00s answer to Kris Kross, and that he might want to go get a sitcom?

9. What happened to the days where you had to shave your beard before put your heels on?

10. If someone broke into your home and stuck a gun in your face, would you go back to bragging about your material possessions on the internet?

11. Why do I feel like this is gonna be Rihanna in thirty years (if she's lucky)?

12. Speaking of Rihanna, can we please stop taking pictures of her doing absolutely nothing?

13. Should we all chip in and get Jermaine a magic marker?

14. Who else saw this picture and thought, "Coke and Diet Coke?"

15. What kind of magic wand does photographer Rob Ector own?

16. Why is everyone going in on Rocsi lately? Did she mess with your man, too?

17. If your only claim to fame prior to your well received mixtape was a character known as "Wheelchair Jimmy," wouldn't you of all people know to sit your ass down when a doctor tells you to?

18. Will these G-listers on Twitter whining about people "hating" on them ever shut their happy asses up?

19. Can someone explain the origin of Nicki Minaj's accent please?

20. Have you gotten in your morning jig today?


The Cynical Ones.
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