In theory, I don’t have anything against PETA.

With lobbyists for everything ranging from porn to bananas (in this instance, there is no connection, nasty), it's nothing wrong with Scooby, Scrappy, and Yogi having their own advocate, too.

In practice, however, I take offense to some of PETA’s methods in trying to sway the masses to fall into their line of thinking.

Not even their incessant need to throw blood on those who wear fur. Sorry, but if they try that shit with Mary J. Blige, that’s their ass.

No, what gets me is the way in which they handle black celebrities who rock Rocky and Bulwinkle.

Take for instance a post from way back that I wrote about Jay-Z. It detailed how a spokesperson from PETA wrote a letter to Jay-Z in “hip-hop speak” (re: black). I found it to be as patronizing as it was incredibly stupid.

Even worse are the correlations the organization sometimes make between animal rights and slavery.

I distinctly remember PETA showing pictures of African men and women in shackles and placing their images next to that of Dumbo and the Lion King in chains.

In no way shape or form are the two comparable. I always say such an opinion to be something a white person would say.

Enter Nia Long, who just reminded me of Zora Neal Hurston’s adage, “All my skinfolk at kinfolk.”

Here’s what the next chick that needs to be traded out of the race said about her support of PETA.

“It’s a clean beautiful ad but the message is clear from that one photo, from that one image that all living things should have the right to live….I’ve realized how important it is that we really take responsibility for the environment, for treating animals with love and care just like we would any human being. I really do believe that all things that have been given life deserve to live life. It’s no different, in my opinion, from slavery or the Holocaust it’s just that we’re not dealing with human beings, we’re dealing with animals, but it’s still a living thing.”

Negro, please!

First off, white readers, my bad. It was wrong of me to assume only someone who checks off the Caucasian box would say something so asinine.

Forgive me? I hope so.

Anyhow, where is Nia Long’ publicist? Did she write one too many bad checks? I mean, since Nia claims Beyonce’s taking all of her jobs (Shazaam!) and all.

The Newport’s explain her mouth, but what sort of narcotic has is she using to cause her to think a raccoon being skinned to make Mama Combs a hat is the same as enslaving an entire race of people for centuries and throwing another group of people into an oven for sport?

Was the PETA check that good? I hope she was paid extra, because I wouldn't be surprised if a couple of people out there aren't inspired to commit black-on-black crime after that.

This is the problem I tend to have with certain organizations that should be open to all, but tend to be headed by “liberals” who pose as people evolved and tolerant, but typically fall in line with the typical racist bullshit.

Like the feminist movement, like the gay rights movement, and very much like the animal rights movement.

Sadly, now we have black people helping them perpetuate such an ignorant way of thinking instead of enlightening them to a different point-of-view that would ultimately make their groups more inclusive and thus more successful.

If you are a self-respecting person of color and dare liken animal rights to slavery, you need to build a tree house in the jungle and go live with the rest of the animal kingdom.

I can’t believe she even fixed her mouth to say something so stupid.

Jesus be a history book, Allah be some common sense, and Zuul of the Netherworld be a damn clue.

P.S. That’s why they didn’t even give your silly self a belly button!