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Wednesday, May 14, 2008
12:33 PM


Dear Kim

 


Take a good long look at these pictures and ask yourself, “Why haven’t I started hanging out at NBA locker rooms?”

Seriously, Kim: Why haven’t you? Do you really want to keep going to the press championing the special love you and Diddy Puff share? I don’t hear Mase still talking about it, so why should you?

You seem like a very nice lady when you aren’t trying to nitpick at people who try to say you should move one from America’s one-man sperm bank.

Now on to Cassie. As you know, I think she’s very pretty, but I’m tired of very pretty people devoid of personality beat my eardrums into submission. She cannot sing. She cannot dance. She can’t even walk and maintain a level of interest from people. Maybe on the catwalk she’s alright, but I’m tired of models and/or strippers pretending to be entertainers. If you entertain Puff Puff Diddy, that’s cool. But that doesn’t mean we’re all getting the same treatment – as if some of us would even want it anyway.

I read that this chick gets an allowance. Really, though? An allowance? Back in my day (y’know, ‘80s baby) we called those chicks hoe strollers. Ok, you know what, that’s not right. They are two consenting adults and if they choose to hug up in public, good for them. If Poofy wants to trick his dough, that’s his business. Hey, at least he can afford to do it. Go ‘head Cassie for finding a personal piggy bank. Everyone could use one.

BUT: Just because he likes her doesn’t mean we have to. She has no talent. I mean, at least Total could hum a little and had dope material. What does Cassie have? A hot side-eye? Who cares.

All I’m saying is, Danity Kane better not miss their chance at scoring another platinum-selling album because this tone deaf chick who sings like a 12-year-old that just had her tonsils removed is the latest notch on Piffy Puff’s ever growing list of victims.

They have already gone gold, but the opportunity to go platinum is slipping as time passes by. Cassie couldn’t even go gold with her monster hit about blow jobs. It’s not right, ya'll.


The Cynical Ones.
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