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Monday, April 27, 2009
2:12 AM

Bye, Bea


I’m not ashamed to say that The Golden Girls is one of my all-time favorite sitcoms.

The show by and large is the original Sex & The City, only a funnier, geriatric version. The Golden Girls broke several television stereotypes and proved older people can still be funny, sexy, and engaging to audiences – even young ones.

Those four women were an inspiration to all of us who hope to one day become old enough to get a senior citizen discount at IHOP but still manage to get it in.

I didn’t realize so many other people who looked and jigged like me loved this show, too. Watching a bunch of older bitties talk about the nasty over cheesecake appealed to all. White hair love (or none at all, for that matter) was proven to be universally funny.

So it’s sad for me to learn of another cast member’s passing.

I loved me some Dorothy Zbornak. On a bored afternoon one day, I took one of those online quizzes that matched up your personality with a cast member from The Golden Girls.

I was deemed Dorothy, and because the character was so smart, quick witted, and funny as hell, I didn’t mind it.

But I just took another one a minute ago and I was called Blanche. This site just tried to call me a hoe on the low. Anybody know a good hacker?

Wait, am I supposed to say pause now or something that essentially means I’m too insecure in my masculinity that I can’t write sentences like the last couple of ones?

If so, one of ya’ll do it for me in the comments section. Mmk. Thanks.

Back on topic, hopefully Bea Arthur is somewhere with Estelle Getty cracking jokes and eating cheesecake.

I really, really, liked this show. I get the feeling that I’ve seen every single episode at least twice.

So much talent on and off the screen. Like Mitchell Hurwitz, who created another TV gem, Arrested Development.

The sad part is as great as The Golden Girls is I doubt it would air in this decade. They would probably take the concept and try to turn it into a reality show.

Some bullshit like “Old School Loving” or some nonsense of that sort.

A lot of networks just don’t seem to appreciate a good sitcom the way they used to. The same goes for great comedic talents like Bea Arthur.

The two-remaining cast members of the show each shared their thoughts about Arthur.

Rue McClanahan told Entertainment Tonight: “Thirty-seven years ago she showed me how to be very brave in playing comedy. I'll miss that courage. And I'll miss that voice.”

Betty White echoed her sentiments: “I knew it would hurt, I just didn't know it would hurt this much. I'm so happy that she received her Lifetime Achievement Award while she was still with us, so she could appreciate that. She was such a big part of my life.”

How nice. I hope my people are that kind to me at my funeral. You know, right before everyone breaks into “Get Me Bodied” and “My Dougie.”

I’m going to go ahead and end this with one of the best theme songs ever. Rest in peace, Bea.

Does anyone have the mp3? Yes, I’m serious.

The Cynical Ones.
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