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Tuesday, May 20, 2008
2:19 AM

The Minors Are Our Future


“Bust It Babies,” “Smell Your Dick,” and Pretty Ricky tunes aside: I still have hope (albeit declining) for the chirren of our future.

Though you can’t always tell there are indeed people who can still actually sing on key. That’s right, without the assistance of a vocoder, autotunes, and background singers doing all the work for them -- they still exist.

Naturally, none of them are allowed to drink legally, so one can only hope the industry doesn’t destroy them by the time they can. Make a note of Lindsay Lohan’s career.

Anyway, here are a few minors I don’t hate!

If you’re not familiar, this is JoJo. To be honest, when I first saw her on TRL (I know: I forgot all about that show, too) a couple of years ago, I didn’t think much of her. Not that she couldn’t sing or anything. It’s just that she was like 12 to me, and yeah, I didn’t really care.

But, a friend put me on to her in the funniest of ways, and after being sent some songs (Memo to the RIAA: It was so “legal”), I became a fan.

What I like about her is that she doesn’t think she should be praised every other second for being able to sing well. And, she’s not nasty towards other singers who sell more albums or get larger praise than she does. If you’re wondering, yes, I’m talking about Christina Aguilera. I used to be a big fan of hers, but she irks me to no end now. I can see exactly why people walked off the dance floor at prom the second her single started playing.

Back to JoJo. Now that she has the legal right not to vote for Hillary Clinton, I’m looking forward to more mature material. I’m a huge Teena Marie fan, and while no one will ever be able to replace her, maybe I can at least have a new Christina Aguilera – just as long as JoJo doesn’t start ending every line with “HA!” during live performances.

If you ever get a chance, you should download “Butterflies” and “Do Whatcha Gotta Do.”

Yeah, I said it. Say something.

I’m a little concerned that one of the few songs on radio with the slightest bit of depth comes from a 16-year-old girl.

From the looks of it, Karina Pasian seems like a talented, sweet, nice young lady (Oh I’m getting old). That’s why I fear her label will try to stick in her stilettos before the end of the year. As much as I love her, not everyone has to be Beyonce.

While I’m at it, they don’t have to be Alicia Keys either, which is what I suspect her handlers are marketing her as. No Alicia stans, that’s not a diss to Alicia. I’m just saying, Brandy, Monica, and Aaliyah all had their little thing going, so let’s not be so clone happy is all.

Then there’s Tiffany Evans, who I spotlighted a few weeks ago. Yes, I’m still happy she was singing about a promise ring and not child support.

I don’t know where this girl is, but I hope her career hasn’t already peaked. Please, someone sign her, and please refrain from passing her off to Akon, Polow, and T-Pain. Nothing personal, but voices like that deserve to be heard, not drowned out from overproduced club anthems and 16 bars from whatever rapper they could find around the corner.

It kind of makes me sad to realize that if Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday were born in my generation, they wouldn’t get anywhere near the charts unless they were able to drop down low and sweep the flow with it.

I wish I had watched this show at the time Paris was on. I would’ve actually grabbed somebody else’s cell phone and texted in a couple dozen votes for her.

Anyhow, there you go. Just a few examples of the potential still left in music. Maybe it will take a dozen more flops for the industry heads to realize that people might actually want to buy something (albeit perhaps not in the traditional medium) if so many artists dropping didn’t come across as third-tier versions of acts we were already sick of six months ago.

Never say I don't love the kids! And if you're going to get on me for clowning Lil' Mama and Teyana Taylor, I mean c'mon, have you seen the way they dress. Can you blame me?

The Cynical Ones.
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