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Monday, March 16, 2009
4:52 PM

Let Them Breathe


It only takes about an hour to surf the web to get the sense that the internets is full of embittered jackasses. What I didn’t know is that I seem to follow all of the same sites that they do.

Over the weekend while in search of stories for the paying gigs I came across an article about a celebrity and in the comments section someone wrote, “Bitch die already!!!!”

Yikes. Really? Is it that tight on you that you wish them dead?

Now, I’ve been tempted to ask a person, “Why aren’t you dead yet once?” however that’s different: He was a relative, and one who brings a lot of misery into people’s lives. My comment is equally in poor taste, but my anger stemmed from something personal. I’m not asking essentially a stranger to drop dead because I can’t stomach the site of them.

And this actually isn’t the first time I’ve seen that. I’ve peeped it online through blogs and message boards for a long time, but for some reason or the other it stuck out to me over the weekend.

When you want to wish a person dead for gracing the cover of a magazine, or starring in a movie that you didn’t put any money in, or releasing the wrong single, you need to call 1-800-MyAss-IsCrazy. I’m not sure if that’s a real number, but if it isn’t, I’ll try to set that up and take phone calls after 9 p.m.

No really, go hug someone or at the very least, turn on CNN or MSNBC (or Fox News, if you must – but I’m judging you) and send that negative energy to the people that might turn America into a Chinese flea market.

I admittedly am not the best person to talk about ways of dealing with stress, but if you’re feeling a certain kind of way, let’s do this together:

Ideally, I wanted to post a clip of Whitley Gilbert saying, “Relax, Relate, Release.”

Yeah, couldn’t find it so this will have to do. I actually liked this song anyway. Enjoy and stop trying to kill folks. 


The Cynical Ones.
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