<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d13627209\x26blogName\x3dThe+Cynical+Ones\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://thecynicalones.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://thecynicalones.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-4590904552691322950', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
About Me

Writer. Music head. Political junkie. Pop culture whore. Funny black boy. Looking to have a voice in the world -- with a few good sponsors.

View My Complete Profile


Find Me Here:

The Recession Diaries

The Spin

Stay Tuned

Twitter


The Roll

1016

Aliya King

All That I Am: A Diary of My Randymethoughts Pt. II

Amerika's Muse

Bark + Bite

Basement Elevation

Bomani Jones

Bossip

Brooklyn Sista

Clay Cane

Concrete Loop

crunk and disorderly

Dope Penmanship

Fly Cliches

Four Four

GangStarrGirl

Got Sole?

Hot 2 Def Inc.

Incommunicado

Just Another Girl on the IRT

Me, Myself An Eye

Middlechild Promotions

Mz. Virgo

Necole Bitchie

Negrita Linda

One Boy Revolution

Oo Itz Santo

Queen of the Non Sequiturs

Queen To Be

Rhymes With Snitch

Soulbounce

Straight From The A

Thank God I'm Famous

That Grape Juice

The Fury

The Real 7

The search for RELLevance

Think2wice

Toya's World



Previous Posts

The Week In 10
My TV Is Black & White, Minus The Black
Fool That I Am
Bobby B.
Help Me: Christina Milian
Defeat That Debt
I Got A Finger For You
The Name Game
I Jig, Not Jerk
Let Them Breathe

archives

May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009


Add to Technorati Favorites

Site Meter

free page hit
counter

Monday, March 23, 2009
1:48 PM


Swagger Jacker of the Week: Ciara

 


Despite writing about how sick I've grown of the word "swagger," I think as long as I forgo the option of saying it every other second like some people, this feature can remain as is.

The premise of Ciara's "Sex Love Magic" video is basically look at the kitty kat diva in her freakum dress getting bodied trying to be Justin Timberlake's suga mama.

While I'm sure her intentions were to get me to focus on how sexy she is and forget how mediocre her material has been thus far, all I can think about after watching this is how much of a wack ass she is. This video looks like a tribute to the Beyonce anthology, and while Beyonce is not an originator by any stretch at least when she jacks something she makes it her own -- which is what you're supposed to do when you bite.

Wait, that bears repeating before anyone tries to drill that point home in the comments section:
Beyonce may bite, Alicia may steal, and Rihanna may have bought all of Fefe Dobson's clothes at a garage sale, but they're all much better actresses than Ciara.

All of them have sold sex (yes, even Alicia, too), but it never reeked of desperation.


Her fusing Beyonce's video treatments with Madonna's old hoe shit bit doesn't seem like a woman embracing her new found sexuality. I think she looks like a prostitute trying to score a hit before her pimp puts her back on the street. I find her pathetic in every sense of the word.

She's like that girl in high school that tried too hard that everyone ends up laughing at. I don't doubt for a second that if every other popular singer out there shot videos of them in winter coats on the beach she'd toss on a Northface and proceed to do pull-ups on some monkey bars just to sweat a little more than the other girls out.

The interesting thing about her is that she's doing everything antithetical to what made her relevant to begin with. In an attempt to appeal to a pop audience, she's alienating the people who pushed her to platinum status. I would know, because I bought her first album. Then she came out with that pretentious evolution-themed album (who experiences that great an evolution in two years?) and her music went to shit.

Maybe if she focused on her music as much as she did her ever changing image and sound she wouldn't be reduced to doggystyle positions and rubbing her ass cheeks on Justin Timberlake for a cheap hit. I thought this chick was supposed to be a great dancer anyway. How do you put Justin Timberlake in a video and not have any extensive choreography? Wasn't her being some supposed great dancer what separated her from the other singers reduced to dip it, pop it, twirk it stop it dance routines?

Some feel I'm being too hard on her. I think the problem is I know Ciara had way more successful when she was seeking to give folks blue balls instead of full fledged hard-ons.

Far too many people rely on sex to sell forgetting one important fact: Thanks to the internet we can see hoes all day for free. In the end, she can get attention for this, and she'll even score a modest hit for letting Justin the Negro career killer do the track, but what's next?

Will she throw Lil' Wayne on the next single and flash her lips in the video? Her Fantasy Ride is going to resemble that US Airways flight that landed in water.

Meanwhile:



P.S.


Damn, homie.


Labels:


The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at