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Friday, February 29, 2008
10:24 AM


Stick and Move

 



Since he's theming his campaign around hope, I'm going to hope that he's only dancing this stiff on Ellen because he doesn't want to scare folks away -- though rhythm didn't seem to hurt Michael Jackson's sales.

After watching this clip, can you guess which old head paid more attention to Soul Train? Lucky for Obama, I've already voted. I keed. Even if he just made Tom Cruise look like Chris Brown, I wouldn't hold that against him.

But, after watching this, I have to say:



I think Mariah Carey has found a dance partner.

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 4 Comments

12:25 AM


I Still Love You

 

You probably haven't noticed around these parts lately, but I am a huge Janet Jackson fan. I remembered why I used to be such a big fan after watching her interview on Larry King tonight. Watching them recap the different stages of her career and the noses that accompanied them brought out my inner stan and so many memories. Like the VMA performance of "If" and "That's The Way Love Goes." Watching her and her dancers during the janet. era teach Bill Bellamy that awkward dance. I don't remember what it was called (it's late and I'm light headed: leave me be), but put your arms in the air (not like the po-po is about to shoot you, though) and sort of back it up, then kind of hop with it. Yeah, that one.

Ok, whatever, back to the memories. The "You Want This" video. Janet and those dookie braids. The butterfly. Yelling "Controooooooooool" with this girl named Kim for no damn reason. Basically everything before Justin and her bra lost their minds at the Superbowl.

After watching Janet tonight, I feel really bad about bashing her album. I mean, I still don't like it and I still wish she'd give Rene and Tina a call, but it's Janet. I feel like Mrs. Gordon after Wilona called her triflin' ass out for burning Penny with an iron, then having the nerve to think she could just stroll back to the projects with her sugar daddy and think everything was ancient history. She thought she had some game, didn't she?

Anyway, while Discipline isn't showing out on my iPod, I do want to pay a slight homage to Janet.





Janet Jackson - Twenty foreplay

Uploaded by welcomeback

I actually prefer the studio version of this song, but I love the video. Dorothy Dandrige would be proud.

This is a beautiful song. I miss songs like these from her. My favorite part is when she says:

When you wake
And your smile meets mine ah
My day begins
You're my inspiration
Seeing your face glow
Is the nicest of hellos

Disclaimer: I ain't no punk bitch.

Many people - especially me - have been really hard on her, but it's only because she's set the standard over the years. But I need to release the stan and take a hater break.

I love you, Janet. Sorry about that album, but I gotta keep real it, pimpin'.

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 3 Comments

Wednesday, February 27, 2008
12:19 PM


The Lamb Cometh

 


Mariah Carey - Touch My Body |2008]
Uploaded by laodany


Some people will never accept it, but Mariah Carey is going to be 30-something going on 12 1/2 for the rest of her life. Considering interviews and incidents that have taken place through the years, it's not completely unfair to say suggest that Mariah may be out of her rabbit ass mind --- but that's alright, though. I don't know about ya'll, but I prefer my crazy people to be up front about their boonish ways. She's already worth hundreds of millions of dollars: Why does she have to force sanity on the general public when loonboon tendencies have gotten her this far? From a slightly crazy person to a borderline padded rainbow room needing would be Olsen triplet: Do you, Mimi. Do you.

In case you haven't picked up on it, I'm a bit of a lamb. If you don't know what that means...good. That just means you can't judge me as harshly as some other people will after reading this.

I liked some of her older stuff, but I was never really a big ballad-loving person. "Hero" got on my nerves, but once she started hanging around with O.D.B. (R.I.P.), I started thinking, "Wow. I can fool with this nutty mulatto." (Edit: I say that out of love, my beautiful biracial butterflies of the world.) And then when "Honey" came out, I was like, "She can't dance worth a damn, but she obviously doesn't care." She's devoid of reality like that. I can dig it.

Fortunately, Butterfly turned out to be a great album, which gave me even more fervor for my standom. Would I ever pay to see this chick live? Hell nawl, but I will listen to her croon about butterflies, look for pictures of her drunk (they're hilarious), and watch her interviews to catch those not so subtle disses at artists who get out of pocket with her.

She might act like a Sweet Valley high character, but she has some gangsta in her. I bet she would fight you in her 22inch heels if you dissed My Little Pony or Hello Kitty.

Maybe it's vanity, but I'm thinking her releasing her The Emancipation of Mimi on my birthday was just the bolster her career needed. Now that she's shut the industry who prematurely 2 Pac'd her career up, Mimi's continuing with her antics in the video for her new single, "Touch My Body."

"Touch My Body," although simplistic, is catchy as hell. I won't bother trying to elaborate on its brilliance, because Rich has already done so perfectly. You would think a song that touches on a sensuality would play it up in the video, but no, Mariah wants to be silly (or corny, take your pick), and more importantly, flex those acting muscles (or gut, depending on what hateful film reviewers you're reading). I don't know if the Academy will be proud of her performance in this video, but I bet some VH1 producers are smiling.

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 2 Comments

Tuesday, February 26, 2008
12:02 AM


New Amerykah

 


In an interview with the Dallas Observer, a creatively-stagnant Erykah Badu revealed that at one point, she felt like lost the magic, and the idea that she should give up recording began to seep into her mind. Fortunately, that hasn't come to fruition, and the eclectic and eccentric singer is back with several recordings prepped for release over the next two years, beginning with New Amerykah Part One (4th World War).

In an election year themed around change, Badu has chosen the perfect time to release her long-awaited fourth studio effort. Taking the sounds of Parliament and meshing it with the political consciousness found in the early days of hip hop, Badu offers fans yet another substantive album that’s completely left-field from the releases of her R&B peers.

Working with an varied mix of collaborators like the 67-year-old jazz vibraphonist Roy Ayers, DJ/rapper/producer Madlib (Talib Kweli), and 9th Wonder, Badu combines introspective lyrics with blazing beats – giving listeners both an earful and a mouthful.

Not bound by the very standards for contemporary soul divas she set a decade ago with her debut, Baduizm, Badu forgoes simple melodies and concise song structures in favor of unleashing a myriad of random sounds and vocal arrangements on New Amerykah. Though many of the songs sound like they were lifted right out of the 70s (most notably the intro, “Amerykhan Promise”), New Amerykah sounds fresh – pointing to Badu’s longstanding gift of being able to successfully fuse old and modern sounds .

Throughout the album, you find Badu sharing musings on the state of hip hop (“The Healer”), what it means to raise a young son in a violent world (“Solider”), and the apathy plaguing many members of the Black community (“That Hump”). The soul diva gives her state of the union and shares her vision of a better world in the grooviest way possible. If this is what Erykah’s America sounds like, here, here for the revolution.

Labels:


The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 1 Comments

12:01 AM


Discipline

 

Fifteen years ago, Janet revealed her sensual side on the groundbreaking, janet. For the first time in her career, the formally covered up star decided to let go of her inhibitions in the public eye. Critics and fans alike were enticed by the pop star’s seductive coos and come on’s. But judging from the sales of her last two albums, years of sharing sexual fantasy after sexual fantasy have led listeners to embrace the virtues of abstinence.

They say if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. But if you’ve noticed a pattern, isn’t that incentive to try something new? Apparently not to Janet, who will not be denied the right to dish on her desires on her latest release, Discipline. While I won’t co-sign the ageist and sexist arguments that a woman of a certain urge should no longer discuss sex so fervently, I will say that it wouldn’t hurt Janet to reconsider the subtle approach. It must be tricky to come up with so many different ways to discuss one’s sexual appetite, which might be why Janet is obviously seeking to go the extra mile to convey what we already learned in 1993. In a press release about the release of Discipline, Janet said she was charting new creative waters. If only that were true.

To her credit, she did embrace change to some degree: She recorded Discipline without the assistance of longtime collaborators Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis in favor of music’s hitmakers of the moment. Jermaine Dupri, Ne-Yo, Stargate, Tricky Stewart, The-Dream and Rodney Jerkins were all called into the studio with the hopes of adding a much needed boost to Janet’s fledging music career. If only new subject matter could compliment the new production value. On Discipline, Janet sounds part nympho, part aging diva trying to keep up with her would be replacements.

It works on some songs, but fails miserably on most. On the energetic first single, “Feedback,” Rodney Jerkins ponies up a club-ready track perfect for both Janet’s celebrated choreography and flirty vocal styling’s. For the most part, Janet’s opts to forgo any shock and awe moments, repeating the lines, “sexy, sexy, sexy” to grab your interests, versus a full onslaught of visceral come on’s she’s now become known for. And then you hear the line: “My Swag is serious, something heavy like a first day period.” While that may pique the interest of the people working at Tampax, it’s not exactly the type of line you want to throw out to turn someone on.

Thankfully, not every song beats you over the head with Janet’s absurdities. There’s “Luv,” the groovy and catchy follow-up to “Feedback” that reminds listeners of the early stages of the pop star’s career when she sang about her affections innocently. There’s also “Rock With U,” a sensual gem in which Ne-Yo helps Janet pay an indirect homage to the disco themes that worked so well on big brother Michael’s song of the same name. The song sounds almost euphoric, and compliments Janet’s whispery delivery on the track. It’s a digitized form of pop music Janet should look into for future recordings.

And then you have the rest. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way Janet decided to keep up with the Jones’ rather than make everyone else keep up with the Jacksons. That mindset is what has led her to record songs like “What’s Ur Name.” It’s good to know Janet has kept up with technology, but isn’t it a bit weird hearing a 41-year-old talk about her sidekick and adding a dude to her MySpace favorites? I'm trying not to sound like an ageist, but she's too old for a sidekick and MySpace. Try a Blackberry Curve, Janet.

Not surprisingly, the most disturbing song on the album is the one in which Janet seeks to push the sexual limit past capacity. On “Discipline,” which Janet calls her “baby making song,” she offers up another ode to masochism and S&M.

"Babe, I need some discipline tonight/Don't hold back/I've been very bad/Make me cry/Got to make me cry babe/I misbehaved/And my punishment should fit my crime/Tie me to something/Take off all my clothes/Daddy I want you to take your time (I'm scared)/My heart is beating fast/Shiver as you grab my neck/Baby, blindfold me daddy/Is better when I don't know what to expect."

Though it’s intended to illicit arousal, it just sounds creepy considering the history of her family. What’s even more disturbing is that comes across as more of the same old, same old from her. It’s easy to point to the backlash Janet suffered from the Superbowl for the failure of 2004’s Damita Jo. But, as time passes on, it’s becoming painfully clear that maybe the problem is Janet herself. In the 1980s and 1990s Janet was ever evolving - treating fans to a different sound and image with each release. These days Janet’s look and sound seem nothing more than a continuation of 2001’s All For You. While she may be pushing the sexual envelop, she hasn’t managed to a put a dent in the creative one for years. If the success (or lack thereof) of "Feedback" is any indication, the good times, much like the closing track on Discipline are "Curtains." If Janet wants to know why that is, she should try on the role of fan and ask herself, "What have you done for me lately?"

Labels:


The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 3 Comments

Monday, February 25, 2008
2:31 AM


Coming To A Public Access Station Near You

 

Just when you think it can't get any worse, word comes of another reality show starring who else but a rapper. From the looks of this casting call, Plies has given every rejected female from Flavor of Love a second chance at embarrassing Black women everywhere.

If you don't remember Plies, he's behind "Shawty." You know, that dude from Florida who talks like slavery ended a week ago? Come on. You remember him.

Anyway, the entire scene looks like a Maury Povich show after party. I have never seen so much Yaki in one place outside of Kim’s Beauty Supply. Or cellulite.

These women from all walks of life (with the bullet wounds to prove it), all dropped their babies off at their mom’s house so they can prove why they are the ultimate “bust it baby.” What is a "bust it baby" exactly? The hell if I know, but one thing is for sure: This is an example of what happens when you start wearing weaves before you learn how to multiply.

I'm not sure which 'lucky' network will be airing this show, but I'm sure there are many people hoping to make him the next Flavor Flav. Excited?

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 0 Comments

1:47 AM


My Dougie

 



Thankfully, someone finally gave Lil' Will a digital camera and $5.00 to shoot a video so the world can get in on the latest dance we'll all forget in six months.

Oh how I have waited for this day. I was beginning to think I would never see the video for this. If any of you knew about this and didn't email me about it, shame on you!

As a native Houstonian, I tend to look at things out of Dallas sideways. No offense, Dallas folk, but a lot of ya'll behave the same way towards us. But, it's good to know that Dallas has another song to go with besides "Oakcliff, That's My Hood." Go ya'll.

I heard this song months ago, and fell in ign't love with it. But alas, not everyone shares my enthusiasm for forgettable southern dance anthems.

I already know what the haters will say:

We don't need another dance.

It's just like all of the other dances.

This is so stupid.

To that I say:

You can never have enough two-step inspired dances.

You should be grateful, because that just means it's easier to learn.

Of course it is, but I read, so I'm good.

I mean it's better than the rack daddy. Like it or not, "My Dougie" is coming to a club near you, so get used to it. Don't believe me?



It already has the Soulja Boy seal of approval. Yahh trick yahh! I will be doing this in the club.

This song motivates to continue on with the Young Sinick movement. If Lil' Will can take Doug E. Fresh's name and come up with "My Dougie," then I should be able to do the same with the "Pac, Lock, & Drop It." What do ya'll think?

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 1 Comments

Friday, February 22, 2008
12:01 AM


Come Get Ya Mama

 



Would you be embarrassed if this was your mother, or would you use her to get free drinks at the club? Be honest.

Frankie isn't about to let little things like crack addiction, incarceration, and being a couple of kids' grandma stop her show. No. No. No. It's her lost youth and she'll dig it up and try it own if she wants to.

Rocking what looks like Keyshia Cole's old blond wig, Frankie showed her ass (then pointed at it just in case anyone missed it) at her daughter's platinum party.

Now is it me or is she drunk? How does that work on the 12 Step program? I'm guessing she left the last meeting to get into the club by 12.

Did ya'll see her drop it, pick it up, then twirk and point at it? Somebody kept it tight even while griping the pipe!

Janice Combs is probably shaking in her catsuit right now, because she has some serious competition for the youngest (in her mind) mama on the block. Holla! I was trying to push my own mama into contention, but she acts like she's too good for a Webbie album.

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 8 Comments

Thursday, February 21, 2008
11:02 AM


Seeing Is Believing?

 

FYI: My seat was not next to Jesus; it's just that I sat behind the press, and they were blocking...zoom can only do so much (apparently).

Before I actually stepped inside of the Toyota Center, I already had it in my mind how I would detail my experience seeing Barack Obama in person. I knew I would talk about feeling inspired. I had the idea that I would rush back to my computer to paint a picture of a sea of people from different walks of life, all coming together to here a message themed on unity. I thought I might even share something about being caught up in the moment.

And then I woke up.

While I did enjoy being there, for the majority of the time I was at the rally, I kept thinking to myself, “I pay way too much attention.”

To stump speeches. To propaganda. To the entire political process. Politics is politics no matter the anomaly of a candidate actually seeming genuine.

Waiting for Obama to appear on stage was interesting to say the least. Before anyone was allowed in the venue, we were reminded that signs are not allowed. That’s probably because the campaign already had homemade signs for people.

“Students for Obama.”

“Texans for Obama.”

“Obama ’08.”

Each campaign-produced poster offered a slogan in different handwriting to give off authenticity. If you are wondering, each sign was decorated in red, white, and blue --- of course.

Is this what happens when the revolution is televised? I suppose it makes sense, given that some attention whoring heckler could break out a sign with all types of vulgarities. Still, I’m a First Amendment fiend, so you can understand my skepticism.

Then came the waiting game.

Early on, a band dressed in ridiculous sequin jackets (watch out, Tina Knowles) appeared on stage to sing a bunch of cover songs. I’m not hating: If people like it, I try to not frown visibly at it. This is the time where I decided to eat my overpriced (and wack) chicken strips and watch a gang of people rush to buy beer. As I chewed on nonsense, old people got up to dance to every cover performed. You know you can’t tell them anything. If they had played “I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T.” maybe I would’ve jigged, but no, I kept it cool.

After a good hour the band left. People became restless soon after. When people get restless, they do whatever they can to amuse themselves. Which lead to the wave starting about 50-11 different times. After a while, I suppose organizers began to notice the obvious (people were bored), so the event formally began.

The first person to hit the stage to speak was a stay-at-home mom discussing her journey of leaving her comfort zone to fight for something she believed in. Very nice.

After that handlers skillfully reminded us about the complicated Texas primary system in which we have both a primary and a caucus. Understanding that people are not up for pulling double duty on Election Day, the campaign has designed a plan around the theme of the Texas two step. The plan encourages Obama supporters to participate in early voting and on March 04 - the actual election day - show up at the end of primary voting to participate in the caucus.

In Texas, they distribute delegates through the primary and the caucus, hence the Obama campaign’s emphasis on supporters participating in both. If you’re wondering: No, I don’t think our system makes any sense either. I actually find the entire Democratic nomination process to be archaic and in need of a major overhaul. But hey, at least Obama’s camp has studied the system and planned accordingly.

Following that voter instruction, the staff members decided to engage everyone in a chant off.

“Fired up and ready to go!”

“Obama…08!”

“Yes we can!”

I’m not really much of a chanter, much less an orchestrated mass hysteria participator; I’m more of a I’ll clap when the mood compels me to person.

It’s not that I think I’m above chanting, it’s just that I might be country, but I’m not really a loud person, so I doubt you’ll hear me anyway unless I’m angry.

Anyway, if anyone here knows an Obama staff member, pass this message along: “YES WE CAN!” is the only chant that works.

When the chant leader yelled, “Si, se puede” old people were yelling, “Si some ready.” When they tried to rhyme the Obama name with sooner or greater (yeah, I couldn’t make it out), I heard confused people yell, “Obama, wait later.” At that point you started to wonder if you were at a Slick Willie chill session.

I think Obama needs to find a new hypeman.

Finally, the man himself hit the stage. This is where the comment about me paying too much attention weighs in. It was a good speech, but much of what he’s talked about, I’ve heard before in other speeches. That’s not to discredit him, because I know how it works: You find those working talking points and you drive them home - especially when your event is broadcasted. I did notice he started to be somewhat more specific about matters of policy, but for the most part, I’ve heard everything already.

That didn’t take away from the thrill of being there and seeing not only a gifted orator, but the person who could be our next President.

I think the most interesting thing about the event was the responses of he drew out of people.

“Amen.”

“Well.”

“Say that.”

“That’s right.”

“Yeah!”

The friend I came out with was really energetic, somewhat atypical for her. Someone else I knew there said his words brought her to tears. It started to feel like I was listening to more than just a stump speech. It was like a sermon and the event, not a political rally, but something out of a megachurch. The thought seemed somewhat surreal to me, but watching 19,000 people scream and chant with so much fervor about a political candidate reminded me that everyone’s enthusiasm was authentic even if his campaign posters weren’t; his words planned, but their reactions, spontaneous; and those dreams – both his and theirs – come from a sincere place .

By the end of the night I realized that while I didn’t catch the Obama-ghost, I still have the spirit. The event was politics as usual, but the candidate and the movement behind him are everything but.

Labels:


The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 3 Comments

Wednesday, February 20, 2008
2:23 PM


Please Be Gentle, It's My First Time

 

So I've noticed that musings on Khia don't move people. That's probably why I like my feature all the more. It's about the ever declining status of the female emcee. It's my first for the Houston Press, so please read and feel free to leave feedback. Try to make it nicer than the kind the world has left Janet, though.

Click me. Love me. Forward me to Lil' Mama.

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 4 Comments

Tuesday, February 19, 2008
12:19 PM


The Light

 

Back when I actually cared about basketball (I believe G.I. Joe still aired), I remember hearing about the great (mouth) Charles Barkley mulling a potential run as governor of Alabama…as a Republican. A decade later he’s still talking about running for governor of Alabama, only this time don’t bet on him running on the GOP ticket.

It seems like someone finally gave Sir Charles a clue that the controlling base of the Republican Party is largely made up of pseudo Christians who engineer deceit-ridden, fear-mongering, hate-laden campaigns to seize and maintain power. Better late than never, I suppose.

Charles didn’t say anything I didn’t know already about the so-called conservatives strong-arming the Grand Old Party, but I am surprised (and happy) he said it. Who knows? He might end even start dating sisters. Ha. Kidding. Baby steps, ya’ll.

It’s refreshing to hear someone say what they actually think, but while we agree on the issues of abortion and gay marriage, good luck on running with that platform in Alabama, Charles.

Sidenote: What is up with Wolf Blitzer? I mean, he seems like a nice person and all, but sometimes you have to wonder if he went to Short Yellow Bus University.

Case in point:

Barkley: "I just bought a house in 2007, and in 2014 I promise you I’m going to run for governor in 2014."

Blitzer: "And when exactly will you be running for governor?"

I’m going to need Chilli to pay attention to his interviewees.

Labels:


The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 1 Comments

12:02 AM


Act Cocky, Look Crazy,Talk Stupid

 

My ears, my eyes --- both burn at the sound of her voice and the sight of her thighs.

I’m sorry. That wasn’t very nice. It’s not as mean as that pose, but you know what I’m saying.

Anywho, Khia is one of those artists that compensates their marginal talent with a massive ego. The type of person that if you told them they could two step on cue, they would take it as you dubbing them the next Michael or Janet Jackson.

I like her business savvy and independent spirit, but in Khia’s mind, she is a creative genius for producing such marvels as “My Neck, My Back” and “Ass Talk” (Sidenote: That song title suggests gas, not the sexy.)

A creative genius who invokes fear in the hearts and minds of her competition, no less. Though she’s dead on about Trina and Jacki-O looking like the lost fools of Halloween, female rappers are selling about the same rate as pork chop sandwiches outside of mosques, so no female rapper should be jealous of any other one at this point. Everyone’s in the same boat sinking, so she’s a bit (throwed) off saying,”Them women’s was begging: Khia don’t end my career.”

I don’t know for sure if Khia is right about T.I. swagger jacking her songs for his, but I do agree that is easier for the major acts to bite off those on the underground. Surprised no tried to steal “Snatch The Cat Back” from her. It’s so catchy.

Not catchy enough to where she should think performing the three lines she breathed on Janet Jackson’s “So Excited” on stage would have magically altered the fate of Janet’s last flop, though.

While she may sound like her own stan for the most part, I will give Khia one thing: She’s right about Janet being wrong for going with “Call On Me” as the first single from 20 Too Old For That Y.O. I don’t know who told Janet that fake ass “Dilemma” was going to do anything, but hopefully they lost their speaking privileges.

I'm with her on that, but she lost me as soon as she said: “You Janet Jackson, bitch, you don’t need any promotion.”

That's the type of thinking that has Janet in the predicament she's in now.

The funniest part of this video isn’t Khia’s delusions of grandeur; it’s the YouTube posters stuck in 1993.

See, now Khia done messed up. When Janet goes on tour how much do you want to bet Khia's vocals will be stripped from the song. She could've had the opportunity to at least perform it on tour with Janet.

If Janet knows what’s good for her, she will keep her playlist set at 1997 on down.

Going on the record and dissing Janet Jackson is like committing musical suicide.

Watch out, Madonna.

Back to Khia: She should be happy the jungle she used as the backdrop of the picture above didn't snatch her back and leave Janet alone. Besides, if “Ass Talk” is any preview of what lies ahead for her musically, I'm not trying to hear anymore songs from her anyway. I’ll just stick to Fresh’s postings of her advice column. Ign’tness is bliss.

Labels:


The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 2 Comments

Monday, February 18, 2008
12:01 AM


1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

 

I may be in the minority, but I prefer Ciara when people thought she wore Hammer pants to hide her penis. With “Goodies” essentially becoming the blue balls national anthem, despite hitting the scene with a familiar look and style (Aaliyah + Janet with a dash of Michael Jackson = Ciara), the song helped push Ciara as the antithesis to her young hook-crazed female peers who made it seem as if having any inhibitions past the age of 18 was some sort of character flaw. She took that virginal tone in “Goodies” and moved three million units of her debut album of the same name.

Then somewhere along the way she morphed into something that looked a lot like everyone else.

Ciara decided to hire a stylist and glam herself up, no doubt to convey a more polished and sophisticated image. In other words: I’s a woman now, watch me pop lock. To her credit, it started off brilliantly. Armed with Janet Jackson’s old choreographer, Ciara out-Janet Miss Jackson herself, offering the perfect visual to her Prince-inspired first single, “Promise.”

But after a while she started to take herself and her “evolution” way too seriously. How much of an evolution can one truly make between their first and second albums? If those interludes on Ciara: The Evolution were indication, Ciara likely can’t answer that question herself.

Ciara, like so many other artists, probably let someone whisper into her ear that it behooves her to change every single thing that helped make her popular in an effort to remain fresh versus heeding the adage: “If ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

This strategy tends to blow up in the artists’ face. It’s pretty evident in Ciara’s case given that none of the singles – including “Promise” – have matched the success of “Goodies,” “1, 2 Step” and “Get Up.” And despite its heavy promotion, Ciara: The Evolution hasn’t come anywhere close to matching the sales of Goodies. Maybe it’s because her fans are more interested in her dance routines than her rumored love life with 50 Cent.

Though Ciara tried to distance herself from the “Queen of Crunk ‘n B” tag, when she finally released a follow-up to her second single, the underperforming “Can’t Leave ‘Em Alone,” she chose “That’s Right” --- a song from the very producer who let her ride his crunk beats all the way to the top of the charts. Too bad by the time the video was released, audiences were already distracted by other artists who had crafted much more believable images.

So what does Ciara do to counter this? Continue to play up the sex kitten bit, of course. I’m sure that this is all in fun, but the last dancing R&B singer I’ve seen give a lap dance is now without a major label deal.

I’m all for personal progression, but there is something about Ciara that seems naturally tomboyish and this new, uber-feminine, temptress-like image seems so contrived. Like some chick in the WNBA being forced to put on a freakum dress when you know she'd rather be in some basketball shorts, Nike sandals and socks. It just seems like she's trying too hard these days…and it’s not working.

I’m curious to know if Ciara ever wonders whether or not she let the goodies out of the jar too soon.


The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 4 Comments

Sunday, February 17, 2008
11:29 PM


Is It Really Her?

 

Cassie is a well dressed example of how this country’s obsession with thinness, beauty, and racial ambiguity can lead to a career in the entertainment industry. While she did have a monster of a hit single that soared all the way to #3 on the Hot 100, that number is close to the amount of copies her first album sold. You would never know this, though, given that whenever you look at pics of a major event there she is.


She's here.


She's there.



She's everywhere.

Why?

Me thinks Miss “Just Tell Me How You Like It” convinced Mr. “Take That, Take That” into giving her an all access pass to every major social event in the country. I wonder how.

I can’t be mad at her for trying to keep her name and pretty face out there, but I can be mad at her doing so as a singer and not as America’s Next Top Model.


Cassie ft yung joc - me & you (bet live)
Uploaded by Cub327

Back when she was appearing on 106 and Park doing what looked like a homage to the stiff and tone deaf people of the world, pieces were written in defense of her as an artist (HA!)…which I was happy to refute.

Since then, I’ve re-listened to some of her songs, and while I will admit that a few are indeed catchy and have a certain appeal to them, the game hasn’t change: She can’t sing worth diddly. At all. Not even in a little bit. I doubt that she can even hum correctly. That tidbit about her talent or lack thereof is not going to stop her show, though.

Here she is talking over a beat singing the song she contributed to the Step Up 2 soundtrack called, “Is It You?” If this were performed at Mrs. Chambers Third Grade Class Talent Show at Martin Luther King elementary, I would say her Chipette vocals could evolve into something as she gets older.

Word to Brittany.

But she’s grown, and if that’s all you can do with the Protools touch, there’s no hope. As pretty as she is, pretty won’t stop my ears from bleeding.

Her second album is on the horizon, but one has to wonder: Do the pretty untalented girls of the world really need yet another role model? How long will it take her to bow out of the game and head to Fashion Week?

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The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 4 Comments

Friday, February 15, 2008
9:43 AM


Skinny Swagger Salute

 

After showing one of my friends this cover her response was, “Snoop looks like has a disease.” Though she did add that Pharrell was, “a hot skinny guy,” I started to wonder if she, like others I’ve come across, was thinphobic. Yes, I made that up.

For far too long the thin man has been assailed for his underweight status, and enough is enough. It’s about time people start appreciating the underweight lovers of the y chromosome. As someone who’s gone from looking like a sun burnt Pillsbury Dough Boy to someone of a taller and leaner stature, I’ve encountered many a thinphobe.

One of them is my brother, who although not fat at all, thinks his “average” weight gives him the right to quote Mo’nique’s shtick about “skinny bitches” being evil. I don’t know how everyone feels on the matter, but I believe a little diabetes and mild stroke did hurt somebody. I saw Big Mama die in Soul Food because of her diet, and unlike her kinfolk, I learned a lesson (Notice at the end of the movie they all ate the same damn food that killed her --- not even bothering to change ONE recipe). Skinny people aren’t evil. Insulin is.

Stop waving pork chops in front of people’s faces. I’m not a hater, but not everyone is down with eating Porky Pig. It’s just some people prefer they die in their sleep peacefully--- and not suddenly in crowd of people.

“You need to eat.”

“Here: You take these last eight pieces of chicken. You need them more than I do.”

“You were meaner fatter, but I don’t know, you’re a lanky somebody.”

These comments usually come from people who would prefer a drive-thru grocery store. Oddly enough, the bulk of these thinphobics weigh about ten pounds more than me. It’s like Kelly looking at Michelle going, “Girl you need to eat!”

It’s time we stop disparaging the skinny man. Everyone should really stop and think about the contributions the thin men of the world have given us in entertainment and politics.

Ok, so maybe his legs look like 6 inch thermometers, but Snoop has proven through the years that you can be a 100 pound gangsta. If you watch his show, you know he’s not on the stick-and-move diet (stick your fingers down your throat, move to the toilet) or munching on carrots all day. He seems to love Roscoe’s almost as much as he loves weed. Quiet as it’s kept, he’s outlasted many of the emcees of the 90s, and that’s probably because he stayed true to his tall and lanky self. Suge was too big to outrun the IRS. Look where he is now. I rest my case.

If not for this thin man’s brilliance, ya’ll thicker folks would have no song to “Shake Ya Ass” and watch ya selves to. Say thank you.

Skinny = funny. Word to Pryor.

The funnier, and most talented Wayans Brothers. Obviously missing a couple of meals has given him the sadness he needed to tap into to portray dramatic roles like in Requiem For a Dream more seriously.

He was considered skinny in the 90s. I heard Uncle Phil say it on an episode myself, so don’t try to dispute this. Of course, since he’s bulked up he now commands $20 million a movie, so I will keep drinking Protein Whey and get up on my protein just incase.

T.I. is one of the south’s greatest rappers, and he probably weighs only half of most of them. For those of you thinking, “I bet if he ate more, he wouldn’t be so angry, and wouldn’t need those guns” need I remind you that it was his Napoleon (and the fact that he needed to grasps that he wasn’t in the hood anymore) complex that got him in trouble, not any “Feed the Children” curse.

He has a long ways to go before he gets to platinum status (like a couple hundred thousand), but Trey Songz is my role model simply because he’s breaking barriers for my kind. He’s lifting up people who can’t get enough of that slim swagger thrice his size at concerts. We shall overcome.

I’m just using him as a filler, but yeah, he fits the mold if we’re talking 2001. Kidding. He had a hit. That song, y'know...hmm, well I can't think of it, but I'm sure my niece jigged to it a couple of years go. Thanks, Shad.

He weighs like 88 pounds wet, but who’s contributed more to music, the music video, choreography, and tabloid fodder in the last three decades than the Michael “That’s Lite Mayonnaise, Thank you” Jackson ? Don’t waste your time trying to think of someone else. The skinniest Jackson brother is the only choice.

I was reading an article about Obama’s stumping in Louisiana a week ago and apparently some woman patted him on his stomach and said, “You’re too frail, baby. We need to fatten you up.” No you don’t. Give him one piece of boudain, not four. Being in his weight class has gotten him this far, don’t go trying to change him.

I know you’re looking like, “Who the hell is this?” That’s me, so watch your jokes. Actually, email them to me: I might share them. I watched Top Model the night before, so cut me some slack. But yes, I am hoping to join these thin men in triumph one day.

Now we do have our embarrassments like Fonzworth Bentley, but y’know, can’t win ‘em all. I wish he’d go hit a buffet, though, and stop messing with our status.

Anyway, I hope I’ve given any thinphobics out there something to think about. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go decide if I really want this protein shake.

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The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 18 Comments

Thursday, February 14, 2008
3:44 PM


Stop Encouraging Him

 



Am I wrong for thinking Ray-J is the lamest man alive? Obviously a glutton for punishment, I saw this video on Crunk + Disorderly and decided to watch it. See why procrastination is wrong, people? I became annoyed with him in the first thirty seconds of the video. I didn't think it could get any worse, but it did. Impressive, Ray-J. Most impressive.

No really: Am I wrong for thinking Ray-J is the lamest man alive? How long ago was this sex tape? Why does he keep talking about it to the point you have to wonder if it will be mentioned on his tombstone? (So much for that Pharrell + Chad shout out!) We get, Ray-J: You had a sex tape with the injection princess. Go you.

Has he not been able to find any other line of work or something? Paris Hilton found a couple of careers. Kim Kardashian landed a show on E! Why hasn't he picked up a new gig for his attention whoring antics? Has using sexual voyeurism to get Q-list celebrities reality shows become passe?

He acts like that lame in class that got the dope girl to give him soon and now you can't tell him anything. Y'know, like on Saved By The Bell when Kelly kissed Screech on the cheek. You couldn't tell him a damn thing. Or like when Lisa Turtle finally showed him a lil' affection for a millisecond. That's Ray-J.

I long for the days when Ray-J was just known as Brandy's better. Better yet, I yearn for the return when a question about Ray-J would be met with, "WHO?!"

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The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 3 Comments

Wednesday, February 13, 2008
1:47 AM


Coming To A Recycle Bin Near You

 


This week’s MySpace singer spotlight is an old favorite. Do you remember Tahj Mowry? Michelle Tanner’s special friend who turned into the Smart Guy that has since morphed into what looks like the Rock’s long lost son? Well, little Teddy has singing dreams, ya’ll.

You can check out his MySpace page here to hear Tia and Tamera’s little brother make Chris Brown feel more comfortable about his spot in the R&B world. That’s probably due to the fact that when Tahj he sings he makes Chris Brown sound like Teddy Pendergrass.

No really: his voice is mighty high. I mean, it’s not like I walk around sounding like Deebo or the Lady of Rage myself, but I’m just saying someone ought to consider getting their voices screwed and chopped if they’re looking to get spins. To give him hope, I will say that his voice is high enough to make him a worthy replacement of any member of Day 26 (Making the Band 4). Take that, take that, Tahj.

Tahj is joining a long list of actors and athletes who have no business two stepping into a recording booth. This means you Nay Nay Campbell, Kobe Bryant, Niecy (What is that girl’s name again? The one K-Fed knocked up and is leeching off of Britney Spears’ celebrity? Oooooh! Shar Jackson. Dang, that took me a minute. Yeah, that chick.), Tatyana Ali, Shaquille O’Neal, Deion Sanders, Tyra Banks (Minus “Shake Ya Body,” that was the cut --- don’t hate!), and Tahj’s own sisters, Tia and Tamera.

Yeah them, too. I like them, but that fake En Vogue song they recorded for Sister, Sister --- that’s a negative (credit to the B-More homie for the phrase)

The last I heard Tahj was playing college football. I’m guessing that dream hasn't panned out. Maybe he should get Tia to hook him up with a role on The Game, because prepubescent-themed R&B ain’t gonna cut it.

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The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 5 Comments

1:15 AM


Swagger Jacker of the Week

 



"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

Why didn't this person walk in the beauty shop when this was being done and dropkick some sense into Fantasia? I don't know if I need to go warn the Dalmations or leave the room and grab a can of Air Freshener, but I do know one thing: Fantasia needs better friends!

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 2 Comments

Monday, February 11, 2008
4:47 PM


This Week In Bitch Shut Up

 



"Just because he wears a coofie (kufi) doesn't mean that he's bright/Cause you don't understand him don't mean that he nice/It just means you don't understand all the bullshit that he writes/ Is it 'Oochie Wally' or is it 'One Mic?' Is it 'Black Girl Lost' or 'Shorty owe you for ice?'"

Nas is a poser. An attention whore who masks publicity stunts under the guise of calling attention to some cause. The cause more times than not is his album sales.

Since Hip Hop Is Dead didn't work, now Nasir is on to bigger, more controversial attention grabbing album titles. The pseudo hip hop intellectual showed how far he's willing to go on Grammy red carpet: He wore a shirt with the word NIGGER plastered over it. His wife, Kelis - ever praised for her fashion sense - abandoned her trademark eclectic look to embrace the light bill paying cause of her husband. Sweet.

Trying to explain his nonsense to the curious CNN reporter, Nas said something about ethnicities all sharing the experience of discrimination, blah blah blah. Then he said something about us all being niggers.

So profound.

Nas is that dude that gets a library card, reads two books, and suddenly think he's Cornel West.

Case in point, here's his thoughts of the upcoming presidential election:

"It's time for a new President to come in office and abolish this thing that only allows Black people to vote for another 23 years."

What the hell is he talking about? This is the same person who told people at a Central Park concert not to vote the last go 'round, so why would he care anyway?

Wait, voting is in again. I forgot. With Nas he goes wherever the wind blows. One day it's shake your ass, the next kids need to dream.

I'm going to start pretending he retired after Illmatic.

Labels: ,


The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 1 Comments

1:40 AM


Grammy Awards

 

In an era of music where success can now be determined by how many ringtones you sell, I wasn’t entirely excited about “the biggest night in music.” It’s more like, “Oh. That still comes on?” Nevertheless: Hey, ya’ll, it’s Grammy time!

For days there was word of a “big surprise” performance at the beginning of the show. That turned out to be Alicia Keys looking like the lovely Lena Horne performing a ‘duet’ with the dead Frank Sinatra. Though it was really awkward and almost laughable to hear Alicia say, “Yeah, uh huh. Sing it, Frank. Yeah!” to the ghost of Grammy past on video, she did well. Sleep-inducing, but she did well.

Prefacing the performance with a montage honoring the Recording Academy’s 50-year-old awards ceremony, I imagine the bigger surprise is that we’ve gone from Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald as nominees to Soulja Boy.

The minute they gave Alicia Keys an award for vocal performance for “No One,” I knew this was going to be a long night. Hate aside, it says a lot of last year’s music scene when an artist that isn’t nominated in any of the major categories performs twice. Get the ratings how you can, CBS!

Speaking of multiples, must we honor the Beatles every year on some award show? Don’t ask me how the tribute went. I went to bathroom.

While it’s no “Achy Breaky Heart,” I’ve warmed to Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats.” It sort of reminds me of the white woman’s answer to “Not Gon’ Cry.”

Best Duke Kit honors no doubt go to Morris Day. His hair seemed fresher than most of the female performers --- but I wouldn’t expect anything less from anyone affiliated with Prince, a man who should have thought of “Stilettos (Pumps)” first.

It was a somewhat random segue from "Jungle Love" to “Umbrella,” but the performance was cool. Am I the only one who thought Rihanna looked a lot like that androgynous villain in Ghostbusters? You know, the one that asks Peter Venkman, “Are you a God?”

Yes, she looked great on stage and the red carpet, but c’mon nah. Doesn't she look a little bit like Zuul?

Oh yeah, another thing: Tell Morris to slow his role. She’s old enough to be his great grandson’s first wet dream.

I really want Aretha Franklin to get to a healthy size. The front of her neck looks like Oscar, the back Meyer. I read that she’s working to drop those excess pounds, so good luck Re-Re! Be healthy!

I pretty much laughed the first two minutes of the Tina Turner/Beyonce duet. Granny is not playing with ya’ll. The performance was fine, though I was really hoping they would switch from “Proud Mary” to “Get Me Bodied.” I so wanted to see Tina do the scissor leg.

So this is what he meant by Glow in the Dark tour, eh? Sometimes when I look at Kanye, I think of queens and extasy. He just seems to be on some "LOOK AT ME! BITCH I SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAID, LOOK AT ME" type shit. But hey, folks seem to dig it, so it obviously works for him.


Having said that, it was nice to see him perform something for his mother. I can only imagine how difficult that must have been for him.


Amy Winehouse performs at '08 Grammys
by TheDlisted

Who told Cuba Gooding Jr. it was acceptable for him to say “know what I’m saying?” Let’s all remove it from our vocabularies.

Well, she certainly dances like a crackhead. And either she had that crack itch, or she was about to masturbate on stage. Don’t worry, dear: Blake will be out soon.

It was good that she was given the chance to perform. It’s a shame what should have been the biggest nights of her life couldn’t completely come to fruition because of her addiction. Hopefully she pulls together. The shout out to her Bobby Brown, Blake, somewhat worries me.

As for her acceptance speech: Ray Ray and Joe? Shouting out her main in jail? Big ups to London? Didn’t I tell ya’ll she and her husband were the white Bobby and Whitney?!

Sigh. My people, my people. Who invited them?

Edit.

As for the awards, which seems to be the backdrop of the show these days:

Record of the Year: I gather the votes must have been split, because I know I heard "Ella, ella, eh, eh, eh" and "To the left, to the left" more times than I can count. I like "Rehab," but that's actually not one of my favorite songs from the Wino. Rihanna and Beyonce had the biggest songs of the year, so maybe it's time people who actually have the biggest songs of the year finally win an award for it. I still feel Beyonce was robbed for "Crazy In Love." This is the first time Beyonce hasn't won a Grammy just for showing up. Someone's wind machine is broken right now.

Album of the Year: In typical NARAS fashion, the members of the Academy voted for the oldest name on the ballot. Out of all of the awards Amy Winehouse was nominated for, that was the one award I hoped she would have won. That was a superb album, and one of the finest R&B/Soul offerings to be released in a long time. It's a shame she didn't win that award, because I would have loved to hear her shout out Junebug and 'nem.

Then again, the Academy seems to consider Amy's music "Pop." Now, I get "Pop" means popular, but this is a category Britney Spears has an award in. Why wasn't Amy placed in the R&B categories? Her sound is more rooted in R&B than the likes of Beyonce and Rihanna, who arguably could be placed in the Pop categories themselves. Stop placing artists in categories based on race.

Best Female R&B Vocal Performance: I know I've made my thoughts about Alicia Keys clear, but I genuinely don't think she deserved that award. She won that award off of name recognition. Like Beyonce, Alicia Keys benefits from the notion of name factor. It's when uninformed voters look at the ballot and say to themselves, "Don't know her. Not a clue. Ok, who are these people? Oh wait, I know that one. Winner!" Alicia Keys sounds awful on that song. Now if we were talking about "You Don't Know My Name" then I would say yes, she deserves it, hands down. But on "No One" Alicia is straining throughout the entire sing, and even if that were the intended goal, it's not the best vocal performance. Chrisette or Fantasia deserved this. It's not like Alicia isn't going to win 80 more Grammys next year.

I was talking to someone last night who pointed out that Jodeci and En Vogue have never won Grammys...not even for their vocal performances. Isn't that ashame?

Best Male R&B Vocal Performance: Prince won this because they know his name and NARAS loves the oldie but goodie (to them). Love Prince, but "Future Baby Mama" is no "Adore."

Best R&B Performance By A Duo or Group With Vocals: You mean T-Pain and Akon didn't have this one in the bag? :|

Best Urban/Alternative Performance: Well it's cool that Lupe Fiasco can call himself a Grammy winner (and Jill Scott at least won something), but I really love Alice Smith's "Dream." If you haven't heard it, find it. Now.

Best Contemporary R&B Album: Frankie ought to look into shanking someone because Keyshia Cole's Just Like You deserved this.

Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group: UGK and Outkast should have won this. R.I.P. Pimp C.

On that note, after watching this, I have to go work on my beats. I have to make sure Young Sinick wins Best New Artist in a year or two.

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The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 5 Comments

Saturday, February 09, 2008
6:04 PM


Don't Forget to Text Boomkack, Ya'll

 




"Dare to live your dream now!" --- Laurie Ann Boomkack

Despite being two or three decades late, Laurie Ann Gibson makes her debut performance on 106 & Park and all I have to say is boom kack power. Don't sleep on that begging swagger, folks.

I don't think I've ever seen a 106 audience that quiet, but I can't say that I blame them considering Soulja Boy probably wasn't even conceived when Laurie Ann was doing the doo doo brown on In Living Color.

Still, this performance seemed more appropriate for a Thanksgiving gathering of Laurie Ann's family where her nieces and nephews are forcibly made to watch their crazy, possibly drunk Aunt Laurie Ann try her darnedest to prove she's still got it, but hey, I ain't mad at ya, boom kat. You want to be a superstar, too. Janet did it. A boom boom kack. Madonna did it. A boom boom kack. J.Lo did it. A boom boom kack. Even Paula Abdul had a few years on top. A boom kack boom. Sure, it's not 1991 anymore, but that's what time machines are for, right? Say that boom kack.

Do your thizzle, Laurie Ann, even if you are swagger jacking Fergie and scaring the young folks. Show Puff you are the star of Making the Band and not Babs Bunny, Danity Doll, and 112 Edition.

Oh yeah, make sure you text boomkack to Laurie Ann. And buy a hoodie.

The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 3 Comments

Friday, February 08, 2008
1:10 AM


I'm Not Tryna Hear That

 

Sometimes you have to stop and wonder if the majority of radio programmers in this country have Alzheimer’s, because whenever I bother to turn the radio on, I hear the same songs over and over again. It’s as if playlist makers don’t realize they have the same songs pegged to air two or three times on the hour, every hour. These songs more times than not feature T-Pain, have some instructional dance, and feature a lot of product placement I doubt the artist behind them is being compensated for. And of course, most can’t sing, can’t rap, and their only redeemable quality is to add fuel to the Young Sinick movement. And when radio programmers do decide to actually play a song with someone that has talent, they run it into the ground.

I get that it is what it is, but if it’s going to be that way, can we at least get some variety of the suckery? Or at least, can we move on from the following:

Bow Wow & Omarion: “Girlfriend”

This song sucks harder than they suck each other. It’s corny, and we shouldn’t encourage them.

Jennifer Hudson: “And I Am Telling You”

Look, I’m glad J.Hud won her Oscar, and I’m even happier that Jennifer Holiday didn’t pull a blade from under her tongue and stab J.Hud on stage during their joint performance at the BET Awards. Having said that, old people stations: Stop playing this song. Please. Let. It. Go. I understand that Dreamgirls was a good movie, but c’mon nah, you beat it into the ground when Holliday first sang it, so stop playing Buddhist with your attempts to reincarnate it. I’m telling you…I can live without it.

Trae featuring Lloyd: “Ghetto Queen”

I only heard this song once, but that was enough. I’m not sure if this song is being played nationally, but it’s a song about a down ass chick --- you know, something innovative. I’m sure it’s loved by many, but I’m bored with the song after one listen, and I’d rather not hear Lloyd’s Chester molester vibrato on it again.

Flo’rida featuring T-Pain: “Low”

“She hit the floor/Next thing you know/ Shorty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low”

Can someone tell her to get her ass up? This song is awful. Why did ya’ll let it blow up?

J.Holiday – “Suffocate”

He ain’t dead yet? I take it someone gave him CPR. I like J.Holiday’s voice, though what really excites me about him is that he’s breathing new life into R&B with references to weed, ass, and pimps. “Suffocate” is a very nice song, but I hear it every half hour on both Hip Hop/R&B stations in my city. I don’t know if I’m supposed to choke him or the DJs, but play another single already.

Soulja Boy – “Crank That (Soulja Boy)”

This song must die. I don’t want to crank a damn thing. I don’t want to Spiderman these hoes, Batman these hoes, He-man some shit, nor do I have any urge to Captain Kangroo a bitch. It was cool at first, and I even had fun doing the dance, but it’s 2008, so stop playing this song. Yahh bitch yahh!

Alicia Keys – “No One"

No one can convince me that Heathcliff and Fat Cat aren’t doing background vocals on this feline-inspired vocally arranged song. This song must have been mastered at Satan’s house, because it’s the only reason I can think of that can explain why this noise performed way better than “Like You’ll Never See Me Again.”

Chris Brown – “With You”

I’ve been sick of “Irreplaceable,” so the last thing I needed was to have it’s marked down, irregular version played over and over again on the radio. I cringe each time I hear, “I need ya, boo/I gotta see ya boo.”

Webbie, Lil' Phat & Lil' Boosie –Independent”

E.N.U.N.C.I.A.T.E. Do you know what that means?

Actually, the accents don’t bother me at all (I have a twang myself). I liked the song the first fifty times I heard it. Now, I’m ready to throw a boot and the homies from the boot. New song, with no sampled hooked from previous hits, please.

Janet Jackson – “Feedback”

Sike. Ya’ll know they don’t play that on the radio. :( Poor Janet.

Now that I’ve made my list, gon’ head and make yours. I know I’m not alone.


The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 19 Comments